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Critical Analysis #2

first dance

ashlbee_86
New Member

since 2007-01-24

Posts 9
Michigan, USA

0 posted 2007-02-05 10:27 PM

First Dance

Sanctity,
my space.
Burning,
your taste.

Slow dance ,
Destruction and distance.

Shatter the reality.
Splinter the silence.

Such a shrill sound;
It echoes-
Laced with
Your taste.

Dull drumming
Of Sculpted syllables -
Endless repeat:
Destruction, Distance.

First dance without you;
A study in silence

Brad
Member Ascendant

since 1999-08-20

Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea

1 posted 2007-02-08 10:08 PM

To be honest, I'm just not a fan of this one or two beat stuff. I guess you could say I've never gotten it (though as part of a longer piece, I admit, it does or at least can have value).

So, I'm curious, why did you choose this particular style?

Advice: longer lines

fanatic-flyer
Junior Member

since 2007-02-07

Posts 26
Bournemouth

2 posted 2007-02-10 07:56 AM

wow what a poem, i really liked that, it was interesting =)

Thanks for everything, because everything makes the world happy =)

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