Aias ll.1-13 - pipTalk Forums

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Essorant
Member Elite

since 2002-08-10

Posts 4769
Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada

0 posted 2006-12-28 04:45 AM

This is a translation of the lines 1-13 of Sophocles' tragic play, Aias (aka Ajax).

Athena:

"Always, Laertes' son, I've seen you go
to hunt and sieze some trial against the foe,
And now, I see you by the nautic scene
Of Aias, where his endlike place has been,
Long tracing freshmade tracks upon the spot
To see if he be here within or not.
So well you move alike a Spartan hound
With keenest nose and steps upon the ground.
Oh yes, the man is now inside the place,
With hands swordslaughterous and with sweating face.
And now no longer need is there to peer
Inside this gate in wonder and in fear,
But tell the reason of this haste and turn
To me, one knowing, from whom you may learn."

Laertes' son: Odysseus

emy
Junior Member

since 2006-11-04

Posts 32

1 posted 2006-12-29 11:02 PM

Hi Essorant,
that is one cool sonnet.

swordslaughterous is an incredible word, in fact the whole poem is outstanding, just one nit L7
So well you move alike a Spartan hound

why alike? why not like?

thanks for a most enjoyable read.

just realised why it's alike, I keep tripping on it though, it's uncomfortable, would you consider switching it to just like?

regards
Emy

Essorant
Member Elite

since 2002-08-10

Posts 4769
Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada

2 posted 2006-12-31 09:51 PM

Hello Emy

Thanks for commenting.
This is not a sonnet, but it is simply some heroic couplets. Heroic couplets seem ideal for more narrative-like and speech-like works as this is. Glad you liked the word swordslaughterous. That is a literal translation of ξιφοκτονος [xiphoktonos]. The word ξιφος [xiphos] is the word for "sword", -κτονος [ktonos]doesn't show up as an adjective on its own in my dictionary, but it is related to the verb κτεινω [kteino] "to kill".

I am not sure about changing alike to like. I need the same amount of syllables for the syllable count and meter. Do you have any suggestions for a word to fill its place?

Thanks again for reading and sharing your thoughts.

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

3 posted 2007-01-01 08:44 AM

Take out the THE in the next line and you could just have it be LIKE.

Essorant
Member Elite

since 2002-08-10

Posts 4769
Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada

4 posted 2007-01-01 10:22 AM

Rhia,

Then those lines won't be a heroic couplet anymore.

Essorant
Member Elite

since 2002-08-10

Posts 4769
Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada

5 posted 2007-01-06 11:45 PM

How about this:

Athena:

"Always, Laertes' son, I've seen thee go
to hunt and sieze some trial against the foe,
And now, I see thee by the nautic scene
Of Aias, where his endlike place has been,
Long tracing freshmade tracks upon the spot
To see if he be here within or not.
So well thou movest like a Spartan hound
With keenest nose and steps upon the ground.
Oh yes, the man is now inside the place,
With hands swordslaughterous and with sweating face.
And now no longer need is there to peer
Inside this gate in wonder and in fear,
But tell the reason of this haste and turn
To me, one knowing, from whom thou mayst learn."

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