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Critical Analysis #2
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The Art Of Poetry
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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The Art Of Poetry |
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stevepoet Junior Member
since 2006-12-02
Posts 46 |
words and lines verbs and rhymes finding the perfect sentence capturing pictures through graphic scriptures fantastic images paving the way saving the day from utter boredom the clutter of life forgotten about poetry has a way of letting it out molding it like clay into what we'd want it to be paradise...a lake,a sunset or the sea we always have a place to go to let ourselves be free |
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| © Copyright 2006 stevepoet - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ChristianSpeaks Member
since 2006-05-18
Posts 396Iowa, USA |
Steve Hey I like this. I have a few suggestions. 1. Punctuation! You have to let us know where you want us to breathe and you need to follow rules. 2. I think that there should be a space between L4 and L5 as well as L6 and L7. This seems to be a seperate thought (at least that's how I read it.) 3. It's called The Art of Poetry, but it begs the question: To what end? I would like to hear your thoughts on how it can effect the great good. If it doesn't matter, I'd like to hear about that too. I think that you just stopped a little too soon. CS |
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Essorant Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada |
It is too loosely written, to a point that it looks reckless and uncritical. Take more time with EVERY aspect; especially sentence structure and punctuation (for now). In order to make the first few lines into a complete sentence you must include a verb without the suffix -ing, for -ing only turns it into an adjective or a noun. Words and lines, verbs and rhymes find the perfect sentence capturing pictures through graphic scriptures. Also look at the below lines: "fantastic images paving the way saving the day from utter boredom" "poetry has a way of letting it out molding it like clay" I think these lines need a transition or conjunction between "paving the way" and "saving the day" and between "letting it out" and "molding it". A simple "and" may help a bit: "fantastic images paving the way and saving the day from utter boredom" "poetry has a way of letting it out and molding it like clay" [This message has been edited by Essorant (12-14-2006 11:21 AM).] |
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ChristianSpeaks Member
since 2006-05-18
Posts 396Iowa, USA |
Very good point Ess. Nice observation. CS |
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Essorant Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada |
Thanks CS. Your advice was worthy too. Hopefully Steve will come back and let us know what he thinks as well. |
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stevepoet Junior Member
since 2006-12-02
Posts 46 |
thank you guys for the comments,I'll definitly take them into consideration |
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kaila Junior Member
since 2006-12-24
Posts 37PA |
I feel as if you created a list before writing a formal essay/paragraph on poetry. You have some concrete ideas, but they lack the fluid tension that I expect in a poem. I'd love to see another version. |
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