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Critical Analysis #2
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loveislove
Member
since 2006-06-25
Posts 59
USA

0 posted 2006-09-13 04:26 PM



What is it I see
In your eyes
Beauty Pain
and Surprise

When I say
Those three little words
What is it that you will have heard

Will you love me
Will you say no
Will I have to say it
Then let it all go

What is it I see
In Your eyes
Could this be
Our Demise?

then theres the moment of silence, the eye of the storm, when the whole world collapses, i want to be in your arms

© Copyright 2006 loveislove - All Rights Reserved
moonbeam
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Member Elite
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356

1 posted 2006-09-14 07:38 AM


You have now posted several pieces of the same abysmal standard in CA.  You have, in another post admitted essentially, that you don't write for other people.  You write diary entries - poems centred around YOU, poems that  make no attempt to reach out to other readers.

Until you make the effort to read some poetry textbooks or at the very least listen and learn from what other more experienced posters say you have no place in a poetry workshop.

Prior to all that of course you have to make up your mind to write for other people instead of yourself.

Best.

M

loveislove
Member
since 2006-06-25
Posts 59
USA
2 posted 2006-09-14 08:59 PM


i write for me, i dont care what everyone else wants from me, they can screw themselves, i write what i feel and what i think, not what other ppl think or feel, if they think the same way i do then good for them but if not, oh well, thats their problem now.

then theres the moment of silence, the eye of the storm, when the whole world collapses, i want to be in your arms

moonbeam
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Member Elite
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356

3 posted 2006-09-15 04:23 AM


"i write for me ..."

Well then, why the heck are you wasting the time of people in this forum?

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