»
Archives
»
Critical Analysis #2
»
mist kissed earth.
| Critical Analysis #2 |
|
mist kissed earth. |
|
|
artexeres Member
since 2006-08-01
Posts 156south africa |
At the beginning of the beginning, when even nothing, did not exist, now to the human mind, that is a funny twist, yet before the time of rain, the earth was watered by mist, and everything G-D does sustain, are you following my gist? How can I begin to explain, what no one can behold? How do I try describing, the ONE that can’t get old? some wise people, deluded, speak of nature as the cause, others believe in a big bang theory, tell me what is yours? But it is by the greatness of G-D, that this universe is made to spin, G-D is beyond all forms of this, and of any world that we live in. |
||
| © Copyright 2006 garth - All Rights Reserved | |||
moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
At least this is about G-D, whoever the hell he may be, instead of "I". But this is excruciatingly awful: "and everything G-D does sustain, are you following my gist?" As well as being a horrible horrible Yoda like inversion the forced rhyme "gist" causes one of the most hilariously inappropriate lines I've seen for a while. Please quit writing and go and read some good textbooks for a while. M |
||
|
artexeres Member
since 2006-08-01
Posts 156south africa |
Not quite up to your standard then, well fair enough, we all have freedom of choise, as well as different means of expression, thank you for your time and expression. |
||
|
moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
"Not quite up to [my] standard ..." You entirely MISS the point. It's not a question of MY standard. Do you or do you not want to write poetry which will interest and excite a wider audience? M |
||
|
artexeres Member
since 2006-08-01
Posts 156south africa |
Indeed i would and as iron sharpens iron,so i guess man sharpens man? thank you, for your input. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
