Critical Analysis #2 |
Declined |
artexeres Member
since 2006-08-01
Posts 156south africa |
To decline a present seems disrespectful Yet to accept with out knowing the source is folly for does not a gift blind the recipient? even love? The greatest gift of all for the sages say love is blind yet it is only in this blindness that I can see and it is with this understanding that I accept. |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
art, I see you've ventured out into the realm of free verse. For being a novice, I think you have a good beginning, although I do have a few problems with your punctuation and capitalization. Also...try never to use cliches (ie: love is blind) if possible, although somehow in this poem, it doesn't seem too glaring. you've somehow made it fit. Very good effort. Kris "It is wisdom to know others; |
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kif kif Member
since 2006-06-01
Posts 439BCN |
I agree, a much more satisfying read than the endless end-rhymes, and a question to ponder, to boot! I will reiterate what warmhrt says about the use of cliche-if you're going to use it, I'd delve right into the simile of "blind", and run with it...why is love blind? And, why do you say "to accept without knowing the source is folly"? You need to back that statement up. Other than that, a good beginning, as you're experimenting with question. |
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artexeres Member
since 2006-08-01
Posts 156south africa |
To both of you, a great deal of my learning comes from you, so i really appreciate your effort and time. |
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Skippyrick Member
since 2006-05-16
Posts 150Rohnert Park |
Hi there: Intereating. when I write or read a poem that asked a question I always look for some clues to the answer. And what to know what question is being asked. I get somewhat confused at "even love" like one does not know if love is a gift or where the love is coming from. Is it the love that is blind or is it the recipient that is blind? In the last stanza you may think about swithching some the the lines. Like: the sages say love is blind yet The greatest gift of all it is only in this blindness that I can see and it is with this understanding that I accept. Hope that this is a help to you Rick |
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artexeres Member
since 2006-08-01
Posts 156south africa |
Thank you, i appreciate your time and comments, they are a great help. |
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