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Critical Analysis #2
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Future Memories
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Future Memories |
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merlynh Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 411deer park, wa |
Future Memories My memories I’ve memorized well My basis of existence. Toward a future that does not exist. Yet. I’m sure Orson. . . Well? Considered When he wrote his time machine. Like a large wheel it spins Round Round Inside my head. Taking me forever forward As I’m seated in one place, As the candle burns down. Fashions change, Yet deep inside; I stay the same. Every time I suddenly stop, After the darkness becomes no more I find myself . . . Much like his story . . . Falling to the ground Feeling out of place. Wanting to believe. . . I’m In a different place. My memories I’ve memorized well With every future With every event Only add to the memories. Spin Round Round Inside my head. A different place A different moment Forever to be memories As they slip away Slip toward a future That does not exist Yet. As the candle burns down. Down Down Until it burns out. © 2006 by Merlyn Hearn All rights reserved. |
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| © Copyright 2006 merlynh - All Rights Reserved | |||
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
JMHO I offer... I felt as though I was reading many of the same words over and over. I know it was intended to make your point, but I feel you could have said it much more succinctly. I think if you work on it a bit, it could be a good write. Kris "It is wisdom to know others; |
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merlynh Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 411deer park, wa |
Thanks for the feedback. |
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artexeres Member
since 2006-08-01
Posts 156south africa |
the face of this is good a nice read i liked it a lot |
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merlynh Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 411deer park, wa |
“Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana”-- Groucho Marx With the fruit files in our brains it’s not always easy to keep our thoughts as straight as an arrow. |
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