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Critical Analysis #2

Raphael's Song

The Shadow in Blue
Member

since 2006-05-18

Posts 493
EL, Michigan

0 posted 2006-05-30 09:28 PM

As the rain fell on the back of the beast
like tears on the flesh
it melted away the pain
and like acid in the desert
it disheveled
the dust and unearthed
the tremolite and fears of the past
thus causing the spread
of the Wrath of the Gods,
the Gods of the Earth

And as they thundered
   And roared with a rawp
  the lightning flashed on
              with the strike of their Staves

         But just when it started to get out of hand
      A peace came about
             And concealed the rivoting rage

   So as the storm peaked
       the monster was stopped
And in place of it stood
           the shadow of an Angel
The Archangel of Life

[This message has been edited by The Shadow in Blue (06-01-2006 07:10 PM).]

Archea
Member

since 2006-05-13

Posts 65
United States

1 posted 2006-06-01 12:26 PM

Archangel, that's good. liked the image that was placed in my mind when i read this.

Skippyrick
Member

since 2006-05-16

Posts 150
Rohnert Park

2 posted 2006-06-01 01:18 PM

hi:

I like this as well, I dont know way the lines are broken up the way they are. does not seem to add to the poem in any way.

????

Rick

The Shadow in Blue
Member

since 2006-05-18

Posts 493
EL, Michigan

3 posted 2006-06-01 03:21 PM

I wrote this when there was this massive rain storm and I was trying to make the image of a cloud and rain, but I guess it wouldn't post the way I envisioned it...
Thanks for the reviews.

Oh and any ideas on what I should call this piece...

^_^
the Shadow

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