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Critical Analysis #2
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Ravioli
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Ravioli |
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Dragot Junior Member
since 2006-04-30
Posts 11 |
Ravioli – Apparently a Feast Only for a Victor I played kick the can The night before. We all dressed in black Or camouflage. I was it, I stood Covering the blue bouncy ball. I’d step a few steps left, Glance both directions, “1…2…3…I see Scott beyond the bushes of the blue house.” I’d take a few steps to the right, “1…2…3…I see Amy beyond the truck.” I took too long finding Amy, My brother came around the corner running towards the ball, “1…2…” as the ball sailed through the air, “3…I see Josh…” I woke up the next day, after my loss, I was hungry. I tiptoed towards the kitchen. I opened a can of ravioli, poured it in a bowl, and threw it in the microwave. I knew my brother was downstairs. A minute and a half passed, The microwave dinged, The steps creaked, My heart raced. Copyright 2006© Dragot |
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| © Copyright 2006 Dragot - All Rights Reserved | |||
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YeshuJah Member
since 2002-08-20
Posts 65FL USA |
Interesting, to say the least. I'm reminded of something the late great Ray Charles said - [I'm paraphrasing here] 'I like to make people feel what I feel' I think writing has to have the same ideal - especially in poetry where you don't have the luxury of developing the story and characters [as in a novel] to paint the reader a picture they can 'see' I think the question is, Dragot, what do you want your reader to 'feel' when they read this poem? The ending generates a bit of tension - and perhaps that's where the poem lives. Just my 2 cents. YeshuJah*) |
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loveislove Member
since 2006-06-25
Posts 59USA |
wow...funky..lol....its interesting slightly peculiar....i cant say much else about it...lol The more people that I can make EXTREMELY uncomfortable, the better |
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Skippyrick Member
since 2006-05-16
Posts 150Rohnert Park |
hi: An ineresting read. I read it twice trying to read more into it. Trying to see more than just a childhood game. all in all it seems sad like death in the family. Yet I could not find any line that would sugest that any tragdy happened. mmmmm Rick |
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