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Critical Analysis #2
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Morning Star
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Morning Star |
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RyaNs TaLL Junior Member
since 2006-07-05
Posts 17 |
Morning star Slowly creep and enter through erroneous events passing our apperception rising in the iris of a billion burning eyes your retched fire burns as hot as the morning star Devout and ready to devour waiting for a star to show us the way to sunlite we've strayed from a path in favor of another here we come morning star to burn with you as a brother Hold our eyes closed blinded with your sidereal lite waiting for a morning star to cauterize the nite Our sake was predisposed hold our eyes closed |
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| © Copyright 2006 RyaNs TaLL - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Skippyrick Member
since 2006-05-16
Posts 150Rohnert Park |
Hi: This does not work for me at all. your lines seem way to long and have vary little rythem too them they dont seen to flow well. try some line breads, read it out loud make your word sing. Rick |
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RyaNs TaLL Junior Member
since 2006-07-05
Posts 17 |
Heh yeah I figured that it would be recieved that way but I dont really like to write in a specific poem format I wrote for a band for two years so I guess im used to writing in verse format which is what I like I mostly post on here to receive insite as to the story and meaning of the song thank you for your reply though I appreciate it maybe i could re-format it into short stanzas do you think it would flow better in poem dialog ~thank you |
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