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Critical Analysis #2
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Lightening : An attempt at a cinquain.
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Lightening : An attempt at a cinquain. |
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Trevor Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 700Canada |
Lightening Eclectic, electric, Banging, brilliant, bright, booms, Night's veins feign destruction, Lightening. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Trevor Davis - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kirk T Walker Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 357Liberty, MO |
Sorry, I'm not too much on the details of forms, but I enjoyed the alliteration and simplicity. The line "night's veins feign destruction" was great too. I'm not sure "banging" really fit. Anyway, back to the top so hopefully you will get some more resonses from others with more helpful comments regarding the cinquain. Disclaimer: The preceding statement is just my opinion. |
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Trevor Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 700Canada |
Hiya Kirk, Thanks for your response. Secondly I wrote the poem wrong, didn't finish the edit properly, should read, Lightening Eclectic, electric, Brilliant, bright, booms, Night's veins feign destruction, Lightening. And you're right, "banging" doesn't really fit nor was it supposed to make the final cut.  But can't say I'm totally happy with it. I'm thinking about changing it again to,Lightening Eclectic, electric, Brilliant, bright, boom, Night's vein feigns destruction, Lightening. Thereby dropping the 's' on "boom" and "vein" and adding one onto "feign". What'cha think? As for the format, the cinquain consists of 5 lines: L1 - noun, L2 - two adjectives, L3 - 3 adjectives, L4 - a phrase of four words and L5 - noun as featured in L1. Alliteration isn't a rule but usually recommended to help such short lines flow. Pretty simple little format and kinda fun to play with. Thanks for reading, Trevor |
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