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Critical Analysis #2
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”Onwards! Onwards!” cries the memories
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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”Onwards! Onwards!” cries the memories |
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RedStoneEB Senior Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 772uk 
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I'm sure you'll rip it apart for punctuation do what you will i know that part is coming anyway Doth the heart beat with the tireless time, In th’ birth of a long forgotten form To see beyond this dream of woven thoughts- ”Onwards! Onwards!” cries the memories Ah, ‘tis a past not worth remembering! For death begins with births first breath- ”Onwards!” screams the memories but yet I linger in the moment ne’er passing. Lo! ‘tis a tear on a vessel sailing down, without thee to be heard in the wake of the past ”Too late!” says the memories knowingly- a play of visions from the past shall always end the same drown in thy lonesome form awoken lover, Mere tears shall not save thee from the grave- nor shall the world know thine name ”Angels hath no name” recites the memories. Ah! Be forgotten once more remembered pain, Be a sin and place thyself amongst the thoughts ’twas a shadows lips my own dost taste- ”It lingers! It lingers!” implies the memories what mortal could resist this taste, Come down the hero hath fallen astray- what place be this unto any such on earth ”It is before thou dies” whispers the memories. What poor soul hast washed away, The new day for the old And reached into the sky with open arms- ’Tis what I must do to see thee once more It longs!- it longs!- be death a whole new world, And on the rest be none like me- For death begins with births first breath ”Onwards! Onwards!” cries the memories. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Lee Hepworth - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Skippyrick Member
since 2006-05-16
Posts 150Rohnert Park |
In my book anyone can write poetry but a poet longs to share.. Have no shame this poem need to be shared. Thanks Rick |
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hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
'Onwards! Onwards!” cries the memories.' Are the grammatical errors intentional? "cries" would work with "memory," but her you have "memories;" try using "cry" and other verbs that agree witha plural object. |
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kadafi09 Member
since 2003-06-17
Posts 143California, United States |
I really enjoyed this poem's theme particularly because it really spoke to me. In my opinion, it can be even better than it is after adding all those punctuation and grammatical corrections that other people have suggested. the sun setting over turlock, |
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