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Arlington
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Arlington |
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Farkas Junior Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 20 |
Arlington Walk among the gardens of stone Evenly spaced white rows as far as the eye can see Watch the changing of the guard at the tomb of the unknown Honoring the nameless heroes memory See the small flags flutter here and there Faded by years of rain and sun Hear a somber gathering murmur a solemn prayer For a fallen hero whose journey's done Walk softly by an old woman Bent and scarred by the unforgiving years As she pauses to remember what might have been Her sad eyes filled with unrequited tears And when you leave these hallowed acres Where the stone flowers grow Remember the fallen peace makers Who’s sacrifice bought us our tomorrow [This message has been edited by Farkas (05-04-2006 05:02 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2006 Farkas - All Rights Reserved | |||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
"Bent and scared by the unforgiving years" I'm assuming you meant scarred, as opposed to scared. Today isn't a day where I can offer much more of a comment than this, having just received word a while ago of the death of a friend. But I can say, your words do pack an emotional punch. Welcome to Passions. |
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Farkas Junior Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 20 |
Hi Sorry to hear such sad news. Please except my heartfelt condolences. I am grammatically/spelling challenged as English is not my native language. I will make the corrections. Thank you for your quick response. Farkas |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
You convey your thoughts quite well, especially if English isn't your native language. I look forward to reading more from your pen. And thank you, for your words of condolence. |
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Farkas Junior Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 20 |
Hi Thank you for your welcome and your interest. I posted two poems tonight on the “37” forum that you might find suitable for consumption. Farkas |
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hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
'Watch the changing of the guard at the tomb of the unknown' This line in particular struck me as overly long- you might consider omitting some of the "the's" 'Watch the changing of guard at the tomb unknown' Also, you have a line wit and 'old women'- women should be woman. Hope this helped a little bit. |
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Farkas Junior Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 20 |
Hi Thank you for your suggestions Farkas |
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