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ladynovice
Junior Member

since 2006-01-05

Posts 11
NY, USA

0 posted 2006-01-05 09:30 AM

You know this place
It is full of so much grace
Close your eyes and drift away with me
Remember the beauty, joy and laughter
This is what you sought after

You know this place
It’s reserved as your space
Take the cruise with me down memory lane
Where there is comfort and familiarity
It’s here that is filled with sincerity

Tell me now, where is this place?
The birds are filled with song
A serenade that is life long
The nectar of the fruit trees
Is the sweetness that calls out to all the honey bees
The oceans blue is seen for miles
It’s as priceless as a sapphire’s artistic style

Tell me now, do you know this place?
The flowers bloom all year round
It’s the vibrant colors of perennials in the ground
There is an eternal rainbow
That is so majestic and full of glow
It’s mother natures arms embracing you
It is her first debut

Tell me now, where is this place?
Not planted on foreign land
Nor in the desert’s sand
In a cavity it rests
It is your treasure chest
Without it life would fail to exist
And blood is needed for it to subsist

Tell me now, what is this place?
It is a muscle filled with love
It is you I think the world of
Never will this beat ensue
For it is the place in my heart
reserved just for you

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

1 posted 2006-01-05 11:50 AM

Tara~
"Pen to paper", indeed~

I don't do the 'formal critique' ... but my heart knows when I like something ...
and this I do like~

There are many here who can and will 'take you under wing' ... WELCOME to PiP~

Read, read, read ... there are soooo many poets of great talent within these pages of blue~

Again ... WELCOME~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*No matter what I search for ...
let me know when it is LOVE that I find*~ <))><

Email - [email protected]

ladynovice
Junior Member

since 2006-01-05

Posts 11
NY, USA

2 posted 2006-01-05 03:37 PM

Thanks. I look forward to meeting and corresponding to everyone on the site.

LifeSinger
Junior Member

since 2006-01-15

Posts 25
Kentucky, USA

3 posted 2006-01-23 04:07 PM

This is a very good peice, all i have to say is that your rhyms are a bit predictable, EX: place, space;laughter, after;song, long; etc. but other than that its really good. kepp it up!
looking forwards to more from you

Haley

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