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Critical Analysis #2
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Midnitesun
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0 posted 2005-08-09 05:22 PM



While swimming in the open sea,
I glanced about and chanced to see
shimmering gold fins cruising casually
in the depths just beneath me.
I took note of this moment,
immersed in spontaneous harmony.

~no predetermined clefs...no prearranged riffs~

As I scaled the layered spaces
of our intermingled realities,
we became a symphony of synchronicity,
a resonance of the opus of my fantasies.

* I would appreciate any feedback you care to offer on this...especially if I have used any musical terminology incorrectly.

© Copyright 2005 Kathleen Kacy Stafford - All Rights Reserved
kayjay
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1 posted 2005-08-09 06:26 PM


There are some neat lines here.  I really like A resonance of the opus of my fantasies.
By clefs, I think you may mean the key signature, ie Key of C or B flat..etc..and 3/4 or 4/4 timing on the rhythm.  
Nice write.  Ken

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

Midnitesun
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2 posted 2005-08-09 06:35 PM


thanks Ken
yes, that's the clefs I was referring to
meaning, no 'obvious' signature attached to the moment

eminor_angel
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3 posted 2005-09-15 11:21 PM


kayjay,

clefs and key signatures and time signatures are three separate things, though the latter two are notated on one of the four clefs (treble, alto, tenor, and bass, as you probably know).

Midnitesun, as a musician I was delighted to finally read a poem here with imagery such as this. Good job.

Midnitesun
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4 posted 2005-09-16 12:42 PM


Thank you for visiting this, eminor angel, and for your gracious reply! What kind of music? instruments, vocals?
Mysteria
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5 posted 2005-09-16 12:40 PM


Good grief now you know I can't critique, but I can tell you this - I absolute loved this, the image I saw, the string of thoughts suggested, and anything that is linked to music in my books is great!  I loved this and saved it in your little reference directory Kacy. (Give Sara a squeeze too.)

To see real beauty - look with your heart.
~ Carpe diem ~

Midnitesun
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6 posted 2005-09-16 03:14 PM


Gosh, thanks, Sharon!
iliana
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7 posted 2005-09-17 02:15 AM


Kacy....stumbled onto this one.  Now, I am really not a critic okay....but I think this is outstanding....your use of the musical language, I think, is great and I'm impressed.  I wish you had posted this in open forum, though, because I almost missed it.  I don't come here often.
Midnitesun
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8 posted 2005-09-17 09:46 AM


Jo, glad you stumbled by here for a minute.

I thought I'd stick it in here first for a while, and see if someone would tell me if I'd made some serious booboo with my music terminology, if the imagery didn't hit the notes cleanly. I learned some sheet music reading for A capella choir in middle school, but don't have a good handle on the terms.

Not A Poet
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9 posted 2005-09-17 04:27 PM


Well, from your comment, I think you meant key signatures instead of clefs, which is a different thing as EA referenced above. It works this way too though, just with a slightly different meaning.


Midnitesun
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10 posted 2005-09-17 04:34 PM


thanks! though maybe this is a reminder for me to study music again, maybe take a class? I'm trying to teach myself basic guitar, can play several chords and have made up my own chord progressions. But I can't follow any sheet music, and don't really even know what key I'm playing in. LOL, maybe it doesn't matter since I'm not likely to hit the stage at my age.
Not A Poet
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11 posted 2005-09-18 09:23 AM


As far as guitar, there is an old saying among musicians: "How do you get a guitar player to play softly? ... Put a sheet of music in front of him."


Midnitesun
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12 posted 2005-09-18 10:09 AM


that is funny, I hadn't heard that one
Amen
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13 posted 2005-09-18 03:45 PM


darn...missed the music discussion...
Great read.

I dont see anything needing developing

Midnitesun
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14 posted 2005-09-18 04:30 PM


Amen, thank you, and welcome to Passions!
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