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Critical Analysis #2
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Dreams
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Dreams |
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longte Member
since 2005-04-06
Posts 199Australia |
Who would we be without our dreams Without our thoughts of those unseen who wander through our sleeping minds but never seem to find the time to visit while we're wide awake give us the chance to once partake of what they give to us in dreams Life is'nt fair...... Or so it seems . . . Any comments gratefully accepted Live It |
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| © Copyright 2005 P.Nicholson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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netsky Member
since 2005-03-29
Posts 148Miami |
Please write something graceless, please? (grin) I like the natural showing of thought from your mind. I like the way the lines duplex (i don't know what to call that effect; am not eduacted in mechanics at all) to illustrate in part what I mean Who would we be? without our dreams, without our thoughts and split... Without our thoughts of those unseen, etc. the poem re-reads in multiple graceful ways. nice indeed. no crit save for a misplaced apostrophe. cheers, reid |
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Italy Angel Member
since 2003-09-01
Posts 65Northern Ca |
'Life is'nt fair' The only nit I have is in 'isn't'. Your piece had a great flow. |
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longte Member
since 2005-04-06
Posts 199Australia |
Thanks For the Feedback I was very pleased with how it rolled of the tongue Also a lousy typist so it was not a deliberate mistake Just carelessness Peter Live It |
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