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Critical Analysis #2
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the slither of a snake
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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the slither of a snake |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia 
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Snaking their way into the city, the pilgrims wait to view death to guarantee everlasting life. What irony! Halt! Stop everything! Back up three paces and think. Isn't this a surrealistic scene today, millions heading to St Peter’s Square to say goodbye to Pope John Paul, even as thousands of women fight their way to their local family planning clinics. I have to shake my head at these snaking lines of such different shapes. Life and death issues ensnared within the slither of a snake. |
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| © Copyright 2005 Kathleen Kacy Stafford - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
death has a way of glossing everything over doesn't it? the truth of the matter is there are ALOT of things john paul II did wrong. he helped bring catholicism back into the dark ages, halting any strides the church had made at evolving with their members. jim connolly wrote a fantastic piece on it http://www.counterpunch.org/connolly04052005.html been reading about Opus Dei, of which some of the leading pope candidates are members of, be afraid, be very afraid |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I know nothing of "Opus Dei" but shall follow that link you provided, Raphie. Thanks! What I do know, or THINK I know, is that the world needs more leaders who will listen to what the people in the streets are praying for, and I can't help but think the Vatican just isn't ready to listen. God knows our political leadership only seems to listen to half the people, half the time. WOW, I just read the CounterPunch article, and shaking my head. [This message has been edited by Midnitesun (04-06-2005 11:29 PM).] |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Kacy, I like your concept here, juxtaposition of two lines/two deaths. It makes one think a bit. My only nit is that it feels to prosy in spite of the snake metaphor. Maybe you could trim a few words and leave more hints instead of bold statements. Thanks |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
NAP  thanks for reading and commenting.I often suffer from too many words, and like haiku and senyru for that reason...those forms make me say more with less. I must work on that prosey problem.  |
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netsky Member
since 2005-03-29
Posts 148Miami |
perhaps it is a bit prose-like. but I like the poem fine this way: it's so much more natural to read and clear in message. If you re-make the poem in more metaphorical terms it might be prettier to some but to me?? I might quibble at the loss of focus. So, it's like a free verse as it stands. I do feel it has poetry enough in it for -the purpose at hand- thanks, reid |
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