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Critical Analysis #2
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WillowMae
New Member
since 2004-01-10
Posts 1
British Columbia, Canada

0 posted 2005-03-31 11:38 PM



Now the hands of time have turned back in the wind

All the nights have glowed

With the millions of stars that have grown

From the deaths of every soul that has left this
tortured place

We can all breath a soft hollow breath

Allow it to flow down our throats

Knowing that when it turns to ice

It will hit our hearts with a painful stab

Buckling our knees and dropping us to the bottom
of this pit

We will feel the thud and taste the dust as we hit

Then the numbness can begin

Our bodies will be allowed to tremble with the ground

As it crumbles beneath our tender souls

And cracks our minds apart

In here we can finally find meaning and reason

We can find ourselves

Begin to look at the sky with new eyes

Learn to cry with out the burn

We can answer the dying questions and justify all our sins

Mourn the lives before us and bow to all their crimes

Take them as our lessons

And crawling onto bended knees

With folded hands

Pray for just on more night

Here, finally we are born



© Copyright 2005 WillowMae - All Rights Reserved
Not A Poet
Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA
1 posted 2005-04-01 12:26 PM


Hi and welcome to the Critical Analysis Forum (CA). It's good to hear from you. Check your email for a special message.

Pete

Michelle_loves_Mike
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-12-20
Posts 1189
Pennsylvania
2 posted 2005-04-01 12:48 PM


WELCOME ABOARD!!!

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2005-04-01 08:15 AM


HELLO AND WELCOME!

For it was not into my ear you whispered
But into my heart
It was not my lips you kissed
But my soul

netsky
Member
since 2005-03-29
Posts 148
Miami
4 posted 2005-04-05 07:51 PM


Take them as our lessons....

...Here, finally we are born


the finish is particularly good and true

suggestion: some closing up of some of the lines will tighten up the poem even more.  The finish, however, is just great.  

thanks and -welcome-,

reid

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