On the inside looking out - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Critical Analysis #2

On the inside looking out

Roberta Little
Junior Member

since 2001-12-18

Posts 42
beloit wi usa

0 posted 2004-11-23 01:33 AM

I Watch You
by: Me

I watch you
As you watch me,
I know you're thinking,
"She's one of them, the different ones."
Well, so what if i am?
That doesn't mean you're better than me,
That you should make fun of me,
And look at me strangely.
I am still human.
I do still have feelings.
Why take pleasure in my pain?
Laugh at me,
Til you make me cry?
Why?
Can't you be nice,
Can't you be kind?
Why hurt me soo?
What makes it fun?
Please tell me so I can know....

GOD's greatist gift is LOVE

~DreamChild~
Senior Member

since 2001-04-23

Posts 544
in your dreams

1 posted 2004-12-09 01:49 PM

very well written, a subject i can relate to. needs more depth, more description, though.

longte
Member

since 2005-04-06

Posts 199
Australia

2 posted 2005-04-06 09:26 PM

Im not sure that it does need more

It leaves us to visualise why there is a diffence etc
Imagination is there to be used

Live It

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

3 posted 2005-04-06 09:49 PM

other than fixing a typo near the end (soo)
I am not sure how to approach this with a critique, as it is such a personal release of feelings, directed to a specific individual.
No one should be made to feel s(he) is less than...any other being.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.