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Critical Analysis #2
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If i were a poet
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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If i were a poet |
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RedStoneEB Senior Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 772uk 
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If I were a poet written thoughts of you Flowed from pen red blood ink touched paper Worlds burst upon pages imaginary delusions. Wing-breasted angels, downwards looking heavenly eyes Locked on two shadowy figures, exposed darkness broke Moonlight attacked cover, rose crumpled brushes A soiled ground discovered, a night of passion uncovered. Illusion Dreamt faded, Tears smudge inked pages World of fantasy written, thoughts of you not spoken False memory opened, drained dry of all emotion. Affect mind, infected diseased feverish thoughts of you Worsened by days, till the point I break, tears emptied Moment heart Awoken to lies, stopped loving you Broken prison scattered parts, corroded fever ended Breathed air, flowed through veins, freedom spoken Memories deleted, erased, emptied thoughts of you Dust held in hands, a last goodbye spoken, image Flickered memories released, one last grasp at dreams Only dreams held me, There stayed by my side You’d make me smile now saddened face But dreamt lies, don’t hold real you No taste of lips, no real skin exists All I touched, dust that drained through grip The place I dreamt and lost Wondered if you dreamt a place Where my fake self walked And made passionate love under covered dark The ink flowed dry, the false memory ended Piled up pens, littered desk, each contained a memory from mind And if I could of spared another pen Id write that memory over again… |
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| © Copyright 2004 Lee Hepworth - All Rights Reserved | |||
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b.costen Member
since 2003-11-02
Posts 107ontario, CAN |
lacks a cohesive sense-making thought nice try though, B so what's it going to be then, eh? |
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jaxjoy Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 112Texas |
I believe that scattered feelings or words can convey emotions so truely. Sometimes we feel chaos inside and that is what this piece seems to convey. Thank you for sharing |
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