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sorrowfulangel
Member

since 2000-06-29

Posts 59
Memphis,TN

0 posted 2004-11-11 12:18 PM

one day you will learn to let go
of all the mishaps which caused those tears to fall
of all the times death seemed not to far
of all the feelings crammed somewhere deep
and all the ghosts that haunt just beneath the surface

one day you will see
that smiles tend to burn more calories than frowns
that each sunrise brings with it a new begining
that expressing yourself is a necessity
and someone,somewhere will find you perfect

just keep in mind
that you cannot alter the memories of your past
but only work to better the things that will come
and that every rainbow is always worth chasing
and every shooting star is worth a wish

"god is the biggest under-achiever I know,something good happens god is great,something bad happens,he now works in mysterious ways"

Miss Abagail Mannering
Member

since 1999-09-01

Posts 136
byron, il

1 posted 2005-01-25 08:14 PM

i understand totally what you're saying. it's good to remember the past.. so we learn from our mistakes...but it's not good to dwell in the past, and forget to live.

"Ya have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your prince... just watch out for all the pond scum!!!"

netsky
Member

since 2005-03-29

Posts 148
Miami

2 posted 2005-03-29 04:53 PM

The first impression, by reading silently, produced an unfavorable result in me: "oh, anohther touchy-feely poem".

Ah, but by reading it aloud to myself the poem changed and became a fine flow- pleasant to the ear and to my thinkings.

Now, only one real criticism: the closing lines contain two very tired catch phrases. I -think- that if you were to have fresher phrases there, this poem would be even better. That is.. to finish in some original, inspiring means of hooking the poem into my memory. That would make it for me. I can even allow for the "smiles burn more calories than" (tho' I disagree, technically, with -that-, grin)

I read the poem aloud again and like it even better with each read except as noted: rainbows and shooting stars.. these put it into the love gush genre, eh? But is that so bad? Not really, not given the overall goodness of the oral recitation quality.

thanks,
reid

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