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Critical Analysis #2
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The nursing student finds a terminology for anguish
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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The nursing student finds a terminology for anguish |
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hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
Cushing’s eyes with nicotine-yellow sclera roll up in a bulging fervor trying to separate hypoxic reality from the swim swimmingly winning bleed of color heat and sound as I hover above and dial those three familiar numbers that became infamous to America one September day they were infamous to me long before that in December, February, March of previous years- the low rumble of a diesel engine outside the house, neighbors rushing over to see and six strangers in the house administering oxygen, checking the O2 sat the number 52 flashed in my brain like an unbelievable failure of quit smoking regiments and 12-step programs who could clean you up? I found I could as I wiped chili-mac vomit from the prednisone chin, as I crawled out of bed fevered with issues of my own to attend your narcotic falls a broken hip a broken back a broken life. as aunt Candy told you how she saw you, looking homeless a stoic tear fell onto your cheek which was nothing compared to the night I found your stash of amber, child-safe bottles and the sobbing, the begging of an adult ‘please don’t throw them away… just one more time it means so much to me just one more time I promise’ but I flushed them after momentarily considering the gracious reprieve a personal escape cleaning up one day’s mess 52 percent where did we go wrong? |
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| © Copyright 2004 hush - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Sobering write. Well done, as usual. At first it didn't seem to mean much but the further I got into it the more I absorbed. One question though. I suspect 52 percent should mean something concrete but it slips past my thinking. I probably don't need to know except that you ended with it. A little guidance please? Pete |
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Stephanos
since 2000-07-31
Posts 3618Statesboro, GA, USA |
52% I'm guessing this is the reading on the Oxygen Saturation monitor. Acceptable is 90-100%. 52 means someone is in respiratory failure ... imminent death, unless something can be done. (Like Hush, I'm a Nurse) Stephen. The Nursing terminology here is great for us Hush, but you might tend to lose the non-specialists. Technical language also makes for cold poetry. But ... maybe that "coldness" is what you were aiming for, in describing the crisis. I'm sorry if this was someone you loved. later. |
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b.costen Member
since 2003-11-02
Posts 107ontario, CAN |
I like this, but I had trouble with the first stanza and the lead in to the 2nd stanza with the 911 analogy this part of the 1st stanza tho seemed the most cohesive, i think you could keep it somehow... "trying to separate hypoxic reality from the swim swimmingly winning bleed of color heat and sound" but i guess you've written yourself into a bit of a trap. now, that's not to say that you couldn't make a more effective attempt at the whole 9/11 911 comparison, because i think you can. the rest was far and above the beginnings, especially "who could clean you up? I found I could" "...a broken life" and the last four stanzas were brilliant particularly the image of a broken adult begging and your consideration also i didn't find the technical lingo too taxing, it did add a needed coldness to the piece hope i helped, ben so what's it going to be then, eh? |
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hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
Stephen's right. And the coldness was the intent. I had to laugh, because my patho teacher was telling us how someone in respiratory failure with an O2 sat of 50 or less would complain of a headache... most people with an O2 sat aren't in much shape to do any complaining... a person with oxygen that low is usually very disoriented (much like being drunk) at best... Although a friend of mine witnessed the disappearrance of a patient a couple weeks ago in clinical... some lady with sickle-cell anemia, a pulmonay embolism and an O2 sat in the 50's just up and left. So, I guess people who are constantly that impaired can compensate and become functional. Although I'd be surprised if she's still alive after that one... Sorry... I'm new at the whole nursing thing (and still working on it) and things like this still amaze me. |
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