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Critical Analysis #2

In a Hurry to Die

esmond
Junior Member

since 2004-01-04

Posts 11

0 posted 2004-07-18 06:43 PM

He'll come a cropper,
you'll see. The hammer's
caught his hand twice
and only two nails
he's knocked in,
And, he's taking loads
of time, could be
it's his coffin.

hush
Senior Member

since 2001-05-27

Posts 1653
Ohio, USA

1 posted 2004-07-24 11:18 AM

This is neat, I like the brevity, and it's pretty direct and to the point. My only problem (and I think it's just me?) is the first line... he'll come a cropper? I don't understand what this means.

Hope I've helped.

Not A Poet
Member Elite

since 1999-11-03

Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA

2 posted 2004-07-24 04:03 PM

Like Hush, I don't get the first line either. I'm also confused by the line breaks.

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

3 posted 2004-07-26 09:22 PM

I, too, like this.

'Come a cropper' is a colloquial phrase that means to completely fail at a task or goal. (Presumably derived from failing crops? Not sure).

I don't have any problem with the line breaks, but I do have a small problem with the punctuation. It's a bit much for such a small piece. Also, the comma at the end of 'knocked in' - shouldn't that be a fullstop (period)? I don't like the word 'and' that starts the next line; I don't think you need it.

Enjoyed - interesting pun.

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