Critical Analysis #2 |
Worry |
Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
A textured darkness cascades unhurried and unheard toward each bend in our lives led by a thickening silence it carries the past and falls weightily from level to level seeking only an end - a bottom in which to gather and measure its accumulation. |
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© Copyright 2004 Jamie Patterson - All Rights Reserved | |||
hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
I realy like this- I never thought too much about describing worry- it's kind of a more unique emotion to describe, instead of love, sorrow, anger, despair, etc... and the imagery you used is really effective- the rushing, the accumulation, even the sensation that it trickles down and grows stronger. |
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Paper Tiger Member
since 2003-09-28
Posts 77 |
Everything about this poem is simple: from the title to the structure to the expression. It's short and simple, but it's good. We see much, observe little, and perceive less. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
It's clunky J. Top-heavy, over-heavy. Any type of heavy you care to use as a label. At the moment it's just one doleful sentence that drags on and on. Once could say that's clever, and fits the topic, but I don't think it is because it doesn't work. I think you've used far too many words to over-describe your topic. Extended metaphor, my friend, is not always helpful. Hugs K |
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