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Who can see the rainbow when it rains at night?
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Who can see the rainbow when it rains at night? |
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J.Samm Member
since 2004-01-12
Posts 415Iloilo City, Philippines |
Who can see the rainbow when it rains at night? When I whimper in the dark for my forgotten dreams I would feel an unseen hand pat my cheeks dry then, I couldn't help but smile Who can see the rainbow when it rains at night? Does its colors still dazzle in the darkness? When I break into song in the smothering midnight silence a shadow lingers to listen and then ghostly fingers would break into a deafening applause Who can see the rainbow when it rains at night? Does its colors still dazzle in the darkness? I know you have been here all along You have come to visit me from heaven. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Jasmine Sagge - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Grover Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967London, ON, Canada |
Great insight, a very good poem! Grover. |
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merlynh Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 411deer park, wa |
When I read your title I was thinking a light from heaven or from a being from, would shine through the rain and make the rainbow. Just a thought. Nice poem |
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cynicsRus Senior Member
since 2003-06-06
Posts 591So Cal So Cool! |
This is a rather unreasonable concept for any practical person to follow. Considering that : quote: For anyone who prefers to think logically, the preceding definition totally invalidates your premise. Sid @ www.cynicsRus.com www.primetimerhyme.com [This message has been edited by cynicsRus (02-22-2004 07:29 PM).] |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Hey Mr Cynic...that was my first thought too. I then decided to give the author the benefit of the doubt...that the author knows this and is just attempting irony...  K |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Jasmine~ I felt that you defined your premise of this piece in your titled question of 'Who can see the rainbow when it rains at night?' It is just a lovely, lovely penning~ *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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Endlessecho Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398I live within myself |
Since when did poetry have to be logical? We know that certain things in nature - the moon for example - don't have senses as we do, but how many times do poets give them human characteristics. It's metaphor. And we also no that when we feel it's not with our literal heart and we don't see actual light shine over us when we are "enlightened" or warmly loved by actual heat. But, all those things are known metaphors in the poet's language. Here a rainbow is a beautiful form from heaven. The poem was ok. The only line I thought was pretty good and original was the title line used throughout, yet I had to reply about cynic's point of logic. Poetry never had to follow "literal" aspects or be practical and logical in every point. As long as the main point. This was done here. Just a thought.  |
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gourdmad Member
since 2003-12-01
Posts 136Upper Ohio Valley |
"We know that certain things in nature - the moon for example - don't have senses as we do" "We" know? Speak for yourself. That there is no empiric proof YET that the moon has no senses is not proof that She doesn't. Of course anyone can take any poetic license with anything, but a rainbow at night will throw a lot of us. Moonbows, that I have seen, tho. :-) |
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cynicsRus Senior Member
since 2003-06-06
Posts 591So Cal So Cool! |
quote: No one said it had to be logical, but I think it’s understood that this isn’t abstract either. However, I don’t think you’re clear on the meaning of metaphor The line in question isn’t metaphor. Kamla was probably more accurate in saying it could possibly be irony. But again, I didn’t think that was clearly understood, much less intentional. I got the feeling the author was really visualizing a rainbow at night, (whether or not he/she actually was), and I simply find it difficult to do the same This was not a terrible poem. But in my opinion it was not an OK poem. Lacking rhyme and failing in the metrics department, it is relying on weak imagery and gratuitous adjuncts to carry it. The line I found most annoying was the line you liked best A simple difference of opinion—but opinions are what this forum is about. Sid @ www.cynicsRus.com |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Sid, I was but merely presenting my own form of irony. Let me explain. I believe that the author, as demonstrated in the piece, believes it is wholly possible, even probable, that rainbows do in fact come out at night - invisible. This is my belief because of the way the poem has been written. There is nothing that suggests the fanciful, the metaphoric, or that the author 'knows' rainbows don't come out at night and is playing with a concept. This means that an illogical concept comes across looking like fact. Now, acknowledging that a concept is illogical is not the same as saying that illogical concepts have no place in poetry. Of course they do. The thing is though, and what I think Sid is in part suggesting, is that such presentation needs to be put across with skill, in order to be effective. This hasn't happened here. For me, as a reader, this is a flaw and a flaw I can't look past. I think - surely the author knows rainbows can't come out at night? Even though it looks as if the author doesn't know this, by the way the poem has been written, so I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps it was irony. But I doubt it. That's the only way I can make sense of this poem, and the only way it can remain at all credible to me. K |
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Endlessecho Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398I live within myself |
I agree that the poem isn't written in the most original or best way possible, but what I'm saying about the message is if you take the rainbow and the night and see them not for a literal night or rainbow but for what they sometimes represent. People often see rainbows as hopeful (since they come after a storm) and beautiful. Night, especially here raining at night, could be despair and sadness. Maybe the message is that even in our darkest hour, we have hope. Even if we are so down, we don't see it there. Metaphor? sure. Literally logical? No. But, I don't think it was meant to be. It's pretty obvious you can't see a rainbow at night. Look deeper. |
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J.Samm Member
since 2004-01-12
Posts 415Iloilo City, Philippines |
Thank you very much for your very interesting remarks, guys! I had fun and I have gained lots of insights from them all. This is the first time I have posted in Critical Analysis, and I am very happy to have sparked such thoughts from you. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Echo - that was my point. There's nothing to look deeper at. (no offense, J.Samm) K |
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gourdmad Member
since 2003-12-01
Posts 136Upper Ohio Valley |
Actually, I can't even see a rainbow when it rains during the day. I have to wait until it stops. (above remark intended to be neither literal nor deep) who can see your smile in the dark; polite or verging on a grin? is it meant for me or another? is your heart of gold or of tin? |
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Endlessecho Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398I live within myself |
;-) Well that was fun. |
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a123 Member
since 2004-03-27
Posts 72 |
i like your poem cause its very optimistic.good job! |
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