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Critical Analysis #2

Realm Of Clandestine

Ben
Junior Member

since 2004-01-17

Posts 21

0 posted 2004-01-20 02:54 AM

1984 printed in the ambience of Uzbekistan
Ghosts of the past evaporating in a sealed hand
Beneath the ever watchful eye that pierces walls
And the silent ear that puncture’s deaf halls
The realm of the clandestine bread on terror
As the outer subtly strikes from the inner

Under the flag of red, white and blue
Freedom is chained to those referred to as who
As the forgotten tremble upon the floor of a malicious cellblock
Their time descends on a motionless clock

wintertao
Member

since 2003-11-17

Posts 366
Okaloosa Island, FL

1 posted 2004-01-27 10:33 PM

I liked alot - mucho mas - I may re-visit with some edit ideas after thinking it over.
Anyway, well done as is. huzzzzaaahhhhhhh!

Grover
Senior Member

since 2004-01-27

Posts 1967
London, ON, Canada

2 posted 2004-01-29 12:11 PM

Very nice, in fact excellent! You could tighten it up a bit more if you wish... but not too much. Grover.

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