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Critical Analysis #2
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TwistedKnickers
Junior Member
since 2004-01-02
Posts 35
Saskatchewan, Canada

0 posted 2004-01-19 05:51 PM


I first met my child
five days before his twenty-fourth birthday.

Six months of gluttonous feedings
from a telephone umbilical
dwindled from gushes of graduation day and major surgeries
to dribbles of grocery lists and favorite T.V. shows -
a deficient trickle of mundane niceties
which failed to sustain my burgeoning thirst
for a taste of villifying condemnation.

Deservedly, I would bare my guilty face
to the blistering whip of his eyes
and my ears to the scorching brand
of his hot-iron tongue,
still begrudgingly tempered, I presumed,
in preparation for this reckoning -
the required punishment for his relinquishment at infancy.

Gate 14.
His arrival announced,
my legs argued something about the principles of flight;
their debate difficult to interpret
behind the pounding panic in my ears.
the imploding vacuum in my chest sucked each forgotten breath.

Terror steadied, one-handed, on the railing,
I wobbled a weak-wristed wave
in recognition of exchanged photographs
as he made his stiff-legged entrance
amid a fog of gray suits and carry-ons.

Arms in arms, we poured ourselves over a bench,
hands cascading over shoulders,
settling between us in a rippling puddle of fingers.
We stared at each others' blurred faces
with each others' eyes
and he witnessed the reflection of his scars
lashed deep in my brow
as I bled lachrymose in his palms.
He smiled gently with my mouth
and my rusted shackles slipped quietly to the floor.


© Copyright 2004 Catherine - All Rights Reserved
gourdmad
Member
since 2003-12-01
Posts 136
Upper Ohio Valley
1 posted 2004-01-19 06:20 PM


Wow. Compelling. I am sure there is something to point out amiss in it or could be bettered but the totality of it makes it impossible to even think about such things.
cynicsRus
Senior Member
since 2003-06-06
Posts 591
So Cal So Cool!
2 posted 2004-01-19 09:48 PM


TK,
You left me with little to say as well.
This drew me in from the beginning and the evocative imagery easily kept my attention.

Sid @ www.cynicsRus.com
www.primetimerhyme.com

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