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Critical Analysis #2

Lyrically Lame

gourdmad
Member

since 2003-12-01

Posts 136
Upper Ohio Valley

0 posted 2004-01-17 12:20 PM

Languishing in the objective realm,
ensnared by bodily detail;
picking thru the rubbish heap
of language on life support

Lamenting the loss of words,
lively as birds, that are colored
with crisp comprehension
in fruitful dialogues

Lolling in a flotsamed backwater,
spinning in a repetitious eddy
of recast ideas and limp phrases
outside the creative flow

Leaning on a decrepit past
that shores up nothing new,
food for termites and beetles;
crumbling rot headed nowhere

Not A Poet
Member Elite

since 1999-11-03

Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA

1 posted 2004-01-17 04:56 PM

To me, this has much the same problem as Ryan's "Leaf." It is just an unrelated, although interesting, collection of descriptions that goes nowhere. I can't even guess what is being described. I think it needs more substance.

JMHO,

Pete

Never express yourself more clearly than you can think - Niels Bohr

gourdmad
Member

since 2003-12-01

Posts 136
Upper Ohio Valley

2 posted 2004-01-17 06:03 PM

Writer's block blues.

Christioned
Member

since 2004-01-15

Posts 93
Huddling in the dark

3 posted 2004-01-18 09:36 PM

Hey-just hang in there. Writer's blocks eventually go away. You just gotta stop forcing the words to come out, given time they'll just hit you all on there own.
god bless

Not A Poet
Member Elite

since 1999-11-03

Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA

4 posted 2004-01-18 11:18 PM

I surely understand writer's block and can sympathize. Hope it goes away soon for you. But I think there is no reason to stop writing. Maybe just don't expect too much of your efforts in the meantime.

Pete

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