Critical Analysis #2 |
On the North West Coast |
Craw Member
since 2003-09-11
Posts 73Scotland |
Willowherb through ribs of iron fret and red flowers of rust. Grey houses scattered in the wind root grimly, bud blunt kids skimming stones on sad beaches thinking of America, and the arcades at the end of the world. Dregg, Flimby, Netherton, in the oxters of dead factories, their curtains closed as the sea lies limp at their doors, the fog off shore vague like old nightmares. In Maryport men from the pubs lug fish and chips as the gulls, mimicking their fathers, follow the little wake home. |
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© Copyright 2004 Craw - All Rights Reserved | |||
Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Interesting Craw. I enjoyed your words. There was a certain "feeling" about it. I see a deeper meaning that I empathisized with but won't go into yet. But I also thought there was something missing. In too many cases, I got the impression of disjoint lines. Since they all do relate, I wonder if that might be due to too much trimming. Is this one of those few poem that need some fill words to tie it all together? JMHO, Pete |
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mysticpoe Senior Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 883 |
OUTSTANDING. wayne If nothing is something |
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gourdmad Member
since 2003-12-01
Posts 136Upper Ohio Valley |
Am a fan like it. So this is very minor point, freely disregard it. I always notice the whole poem before I read the parts. The form is middle line shortest middle line longest middle line in between middle line longest Projecting consistent form onto the piece, in the third verse the middle line should be shortest. Perhaps: their curtains closed, as the sea lies limp at their doors, the fog off shore vague like old nightmares |
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