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But Fate Hath Deemed Me Blessed Enough For You
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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But Fate Hath Deemed Me Blessed Enough For You |
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Kristin Eve Member
since 2004-01-13
Posts 89On, Canada |
But Fate Hath Deemed Me Blessed Enough For You O Handsome Fate who plays men as a harp! Sweet melody is wrought from golden arms Beseeching dancing men to prance their part, Whilst Fate sings songs and casts her bouts of charm. How impious of a game for her to play! First, instigate assemblage of two souls- Then to impede true love with bitter days By commencing heartache and deathly foals. To fickle fate, who rules men’s fortuned days! Oh she, with soft and graceful hands doth pluck Each man; a pawn, on slat of ivory glaze, And summon each to certain love and luck. And men hath met and wooed their lovers true, ‘Neath enchantments cast’d, and short-last’d, But Fate hath deemed me blessed enough for you, But Fate hath deemed me blessed enough for you. "Who you are speaks so loudly...I can hardly hear what you are saying" |
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| © Copyright 2004 Kristin Eve Phasey - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
 well done!"if you won't let me fall for you |
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cynicsRus Senior Member
since 2003-06-06
Posts 591So Cal So Cool! |
L7 actually begins with a Dactylic foot, which normally might at least add a sort of modulation to the piece, except that in L8 the otherwise smooth, iambic meter trips up even more. The line begins with an anapest and then is further interrupted by use of the unnecessary, “and”. L13 has a wrong tense. The word should be “have” instead of “hath.” Line 14 comes off as sloppy in that it should begin, “Beneath” to maintain iambic; “cast’d adds nothing and should simply be “cast”; “short-last’d also detracts and should more properly be “short lived”, (unless you might be referring to an item commonly found in a Cobbler’s shop, though I doubt it.) Overall though, this is an interesting piece. Personally, I rather enjoyed the chant at the end. Sid @ www.cynicsRus.com |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Hm...a poet who can write both freeverse and form... I should be jealous. Since I don't actually want to write form, though, I'm not heh. Anyway, all I really wanted to say is I appreciate the diversity...  K |
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