my love i need u ...plzz when ur away.

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sweet_lost_palestinian1
Member

since 2004-01-08

Posts 90

0 posted 2004-01-13 06:56 PM

MY LOVE WHEN YOUR AWAY.I MISS YOUR LITTLE TOUCH.
.WITHOUT FEEELING THAT IM ALIVE.
.
.CLOSE YOUR EYES AND GIVE ME YOUR HANDS.
.AND WHEN I FIRST THINK OF YOU,YOU WILL FEEL MY TOUCH..
MY LOVE WHEN YOUR AWAY

.

.I MISS YOUR TOUCH WHEN I FIRST THINK OF YOU WILL FEEEL MY HANDS COMING OVER YOUR HEART..
.YOU WILLL TELL YOUR SELF YES..
.AND IT WILL BE LIKE 1 ..
.I KNOW U AND I FEEL YOU AND I SEE YOUR EYES FASING MINE..ITS LIKE IM BETWEEN YOUR ARMS AND I FEEL MY CLOCK IS RUNNING SOO FAST THAT I CANT SAY GOOD BYE ,I FEEL U AND I NEED YOU.
..
MY LOVE WHEN YOUR AWAY.
..I MISS YOUR TOUCH ,WHEN I FIRST THINK OF YOU,YOU WILL FEEEL MY HANDS COMING OVER YOUR HEART.
..YOU WILLL TELL YOUR SELF YES...AND IT WILL BE LIKE 1 .
....
.EVEN IF EACH HEART IS IN A PLACE AND WE HAVE A PLACE THAT WE WILL ALWAYZ MEET EVEN IF WE ARE THROUGH..

.IT WILL ALWAYZ MAKE USE FEEL LIKE WE ARE 1.. NOTHING COULD TAKE US AWAY FROM EACH OTHER NOT,,GENERATIONS
, NOT EVEN FORGETING WE ARE 1 NOT EVEN GETTING AFRAID TO DIE .. OR EVEN IF U WERE FORGETTING U WE ARE 1..
..[YOU WILL TELL YOUR SELF YES AND I WILL TELL MY SELF YES AND IT WILL BE HEARD LIKE 1..
DONT CRY ..DONT CRY..
.ME AND U ARE NOW 1..

MY LOVE.,,
MY LOVE ,,
, WE HAVE PROMISES TOCOMPLETE NO MATTER HOW FAR WE GO,,, THE FIRST THING THAT WE WILL FIRST WISH IS FOR ME AND U TO BE ONE..
MY LOVE,, MY LOVE
,, MY HEART WILL PORTACT YOU LIKE THE TEAR I PORTACTED.
.MY LOVE MY LOVE

MY LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEE

MY LOVE WHEN YOUR AWAY.
..I MISS YOUR TOUCH WHEN I FIRST THINK OF YOU WILL FEEEL MY HANDS COMING OVER YOUR HEART..
.YOU WILLL TELL YOUR SELF YES...AND IT WILL BEHEARD LIKE 1 ...
..

rainydaymusic
Junior Member

since 2004-01-14

Posts 26

1 posted 2004-01-14 10:48 PM

lol. It's awful.

Michelle_loves_Mike

Senior Member

since 2003-12-20

Posts 1189
Pennsylvania

2 posted 2004-01-15 07:54 AM

.....Sweet,,,,
I believe your poetry, is a real cry for attention,,,,,
If you truely wish to write,,,,,
Slow down, work on your grasp of language,,,as in punctuation, capitolization, tenses, nouns proper and common,,,,,,,
there is no rush,,,,
Michelle

I wish all could find the true happiness I have found,,in the eyes of Mike

Not A Poet
Member Elite

since 1999-11-03

Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA

3 posted 2004-01-15 11:06 AM

I agree with Michelle on slowing down. Maybe start with a smaller bite then expand as experience permits.

Also, never post anything, especially poetry, in all caps. That is the written equivalent of shouting. It can be a real turn-off to readers who don't wish to be yelled at.

Pete

Never express yourself more clearly than you can think - Niels Bohr

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