At The Beach(a love Tanka)

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The Corner Pub

At The Beach(a love Tanka)

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

0 posted 2000-04-20 09:35 PM

dear guys,i am touched by your overwhelming response to my "Ecstasy"...i think that was the most number of replies i have gotten for my posts....
have attempted to write another one to thank you all

")

At The Beach

Holding hands strolling~
Confide our deep secrets~
Simple joy delights~
Marvel at two birds soaring~
Wishing we will be like them

Yu Lan
Senior Member

since 2000-04-13

Posts 1462
New Zealand

1 posted 2000-04-21 03:22 AM

(hehe.. first reply.. ^_^)
Aah, this is a sweet poem, kaile
hey, have u ever written a poem that is not a tanka, haiku, cinquain or something? 'coz u r really good at writing poems in these styles.. could be interesting to read some others! ^_^

nice..

Lynne

INclan
Senior Member

since 1999-07-20

Posts 1024
Indiana, USA

2 posted 2000-04-21 07:02 AM

Kaile,

This is wonderful! Keep up the good work.

INclan

ESP
Member Elite

since 2000-01-25

Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....

3 posted 2000-04-21 08:14 AM

Aaah...lovely poem!!

Love and hugs,
Lizzie

"Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight."

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

4 posted 2000-04-21 11:33 AM

Kaile, this is lovely!

Denise

Gene
Senior Member

since 2000-01-23

Posts 935
Colorado, USA

5 posted 2000-04-21 02:10 PM

Kaile, this is beautiful.

~Gene

Dennis L. White
Senior Member

since 2000-02-17

Posts 1463
Michigan, U.S.A.

6 posted 2000-04-21 02:15 PM

Kaile,
Once again you Shine! One suggestion:

Second line: Confide our deep secrets~

might be: We confide our deep secrets~

Just a thought, Love your work, Dennis :^)

Moonbeams radiate
As the veiling cloud has past
Playful shadows dance!

D.L.White :^)

Mon Cherie

Senior Member

since 2001-10-31

Posts 922
Land of Never-ending Summers

7 posted 2001-12-04 02:43 PM

The part where you said "Marvel at two birds soaring". It reminds me of a Chinese proverb. Enjoyed this haiku too. It's so sweet! And yesh, the last line is juz such a great ending.

_,,,^.^,,,_
Florence

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