need help with this one's title......_

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midnightblues
Senior Member

since 2000-07-01

Posts 1597
Singapore

0 posted 2001-05-03 04:44 PM

here's another one.....hmm but i can't seem to title it. Help would definitely be appreciated!

love,chinese gal
michelle

-------------------------------------
hearts could only love awhile
feet could only walk some miles
whenever i am feeling down
i try to detect your presence around

weeping is a sad melody
for i faced the truth
and saw reality
you are gone forever
from me
but one day in heaven
i hope we shall see

missing you is actually
a very surreal kind of feeling
the sense of loss is still so strong
yet my love for you
has been so long

the day you died
a piece of me hardened
but at the thought of you
my heart softens

outside and inside
this cage of my heart
i'm an extremely different
person they see
but only you know
what's inside me
this love for you
my heart could never
love a while

If there cannot be equal in affection, then let the one with more be me - midnightblues™

Joyce Johnson

Member Rara Avis

since 2001-03-10

Posts 9912
Washington State

1 posted 2001-05-03 06:58 PM

I think you could probably call it "Sad Melody" a phrase you used in the body of the poem. This is sad but one is also left with a feeling of hope. I know the terrible unreality of losing a dear one to death. Joyce

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

2 posted 2001-05-05 08:45 PM

MidnightBlues~
Hauntingly sad is this lovely render.

I rather like the idea of Melody Weeping for your title.

*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

laryalee
Member

since 2000-06-19

Posts 352
Alberta, Canada

3 posted 2001-05-05 10:17 PM

A delicate look at loss, Michelle...like searching for the melody that used to be....I know what you mean about the 'surreal kind of feeling'....
I'm not sure what I could offer for your title consideration....'My Heart's Sad Melody'...
'Unseen Tears'....
It's very lovely, though sad.
Lary

Trillium

Member Patricius

since 2001-03-09

Posts 12098
Idaho, USA

4 posted 2001-05-06 12:05 PM

A very sad poem, but also appealing in it's looking to the future. Maybe "Seeing Reality" for a title?

Betty Lou Hebert

~DreamChild~
Senior Member

since 2001-04-23

Posts 544
in your dreams

5 posted 2001-05-06 03:14 PM

a sad write, but a good one. i think the title"Sad Melody", as mentioned, would make a great title. thanks for sharing.

midnightblues
Senior Member

since 2000-07-01

Posts 1597
Singapore

6 posted 2001-05-08 12:23 PM

Thank you so much fellow poets! I guess the words 'melody' and 'reality' seems to describe my poem really well. I m so grateful for your appreciation!

love, michelle

If there cannot be equal in affection, then let the one with more be me - midnightblues™

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