The Corner Pub |
The Dawn |
Wikket Member
since 2000-01-29
Posts 340Santa Clara, CA USA |
Wake up Toss the tent Not even light Cover it Jump I'm thinking of you, sweetheart. Hasty fall Grab my weapon Can't even see Shut up Watch I'm thinking of you, sweetheart. Hours pass Camo up quick Grass is moving Signal Sarge Ready I'm thinking of you, sweetheart. Open fire Change my mag Sarge is hit Don't scream Fire I'm thinking of you, sweetheart. Screams heard Throw my grenade Can't hear anyone No panic Stop I'm thinking of you, sweetheart. Chest explodes Curse the enemy Where's the medic? No worries Silence I'm thinking of you, sweetheart. Breathe now Hurts so much Blood all over They're here Grenade I'm thinking of you, sweetheart. Pull pin Hold release, please Don't get me Just 23 Listen I'm thinking of you, sweetheart. Short breath Gather around me They're laughing loud At me Time I'm thinking of you, sweetheart. Smile now Panic on faces Nowhere to run Please God Forgive 3 2 1 I was thinking of you, sw**** ------------------ Can you believe this was all from a bad dream last night? *Whew* ~~Jamie < !signature--> I mean the opposite of what I say. You've got it now? No, it's the other way. ~Bruce Bennett [This message has been edited by Wikket (edited 01-02-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Jamie Carlson - All Rights Reserved | |||
pegasus111 Member Elite
since 2000-07-27
Posts 2219ocala, fl, usa |
I still have them Jamie..and it's been 45 years for me..hang in there girl.. the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
That must have been some nightmare. Very well expressed. Denise |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
What a dream! must of been quite frightening. Liked the way you set it out. Maree "If my words could blanket the skies and fill every corner and crevice of this earth, still this wouldn't be enough" "Maree Russo" |
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kcsgrandma Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1522Presque Isle, ME |
How horrible! Good you could write this nightmare out. Hope it helped! To love another person is to see the face of God. - Les Miserables Marilyn |
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Suzanne Arlene Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 377Ontario, Canada |
WoW that was one heck of a dream.I liked the way you wrote that.In short verses.It made you think more. good read Suzanne |
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Wikket Member
since 2000-01-29
Posts 340Santa Clara, CA USA |
pegasus: I understand. It's harder for me to comprehend my nightmares of battle though because I've never ever been in a conflict. Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone. dsnyder: Yeah, it was sure one dream out of the norm. Thank you for your comment! DarkAngel: Yep! Thought I'd try something different with this one. Thank you! kcsgrandma: Yes, it wasn't one of my happiest...I'm glad I could put it on paper too! Thanks for reading! Suzanne: Thank you...thought this way it might intrigue the reader a little more. Plus, since dreams are so jumpy anyway, it kind of has that affect too. Thank you for your comments! I mean the opposite of what I say. You've got it now? No, it's the other way. ~Bruce Bennett |
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shira Member
since 2000-12-12
Posts 88Hamburg, PA |
This was incredibly moving and deep. As simple the style, whoa, what a read. Great poem. |
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Wikket Member
since 2000-01-29
Posts 340Santa Clara, CA USA |
Shira: I'm glad you could understand it...many don't understand my wierd dreams. I thought simple was the best way! Thank you for your comment! ~~Jamie I mean the opposite of what I say. You've got it now? No, it's the other way. ~Bruce Bennett |
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