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blackhalo
Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 467
Denver, CO

0 posted 2000-11-02 12:22 PM



It's not right
You know
In fact, it's downright
Dispicable
More, it disgusts every
Last nerve in my body
It is murder

It breaks my heart
To see you become so
Outright demented
So derranged
So completely insane

I never said
"I love you"
But you didn't either!
You didn't even have the heart
to say goodbye
Before you began
Your homicidal spree

Do you even know
What it has done to me
It has torn apart
The very essence
Of my soul
It has condemned me
In so many ways
You could never comprehend
It has binded me
To every concept
Of a forgiving god
It has corrupted me

You had no
Logical reasons
True, they did try to hurt you
But you could've stopped them
You had no motive
Still
Therefore, you had
No right

It's not fair
How you get to
Just disappear
After their deaths
Running away may have seemed
To be the easy way out
But it wasn't
As a matter of fact,
it has caused you
More problems
Than you ever could've imagined

I just have to ask
Why?
You knew it was illegal
Could they have stopped you
If they'd tried?
Why a gun
Was it faster
Less messy
Less painful
No, that can't be it
You wanted them to
Suffer the consequences
of living a lie
Why, then, a gun?

Will I ever understand?
Perhaps I should go
On a homicidal trip
Just to see you again
Maybe
We could run away together
No.  I'm really not
The criminal type

Does any of this
Make sense to you, killers?
You can answer everything
If you answer this
Is suicide murder?


In the past 3 years, I have lost 7 friends to suicide.  Trying to ventilate and came up with this.  A letter to them all, the killers.
Alicia A. Renzelman

© Copyright 2000 Alicia R - All Rights Reserved
bestgirl911
Senior Member
since 2000-10-04
Posts 551
Clio, MI , United We Stand
1 posted 2000-11-02 12:45 PM


Very powerful!.....WOW! I'm sorry to hear about your friends...

Best

Jon Mewett
Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304

2 posted 2000-11-02 02:35 PM


Alicia your pain and anger are so evident in this piece.......a sincere and powerful piece of writing........pain makes art....sometimes.

Jon

a_little_girl
Member
since 2000-05-08
Posts 307
San Alejandro, HI, USA
3 posted 2000-11-02 02:55 PM


Wow...words that express go so well here. I like the use of expressive words. It is really well done.   I wouldn't blame you for using those words in that particular topic.  
--Little Girl

compassion
Member
since 2000-11-01
Posts 135
USA
4 posted 2000-11-02 03:13 PM


Dear Alicia,
  A powerful poem. Keep writing for therapy.
You have been through enough and my heart bleeds for you. Maybe someone can offer a number for you to call & get help until you get past this horrible time period.  Connie

BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919
New York, USA
5 posted 2000-11-02 05:01 PM


Wow Alicia ~ Very powerful piece, I'm so sorry for all of your sadness... I know how hard it is to go through this, wish I didn't, but, I do.  Keep writing, you have done a nice job with such a hard subject.  Bonnie
blackhalo
Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 467
Denver, CO
6 posted 2000-11-03 12:02 PM


I don't know what to say.  Thanks for the hopeful thoughts.  I am glad that I have posted something that could touch everyone.  BSC,
It is hard to go through certain things in life, and this is absolutely one of the hardest!  I hope you, too, have found a place to ventilate your tears here, as I have.
Jon,
Yet another wonderful compliment from someone who is a much better author than I ever have been.
Thank you all for the hope.  I greatly appreciate it.
Alicia A. Renzelman

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