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someone to blame
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someone to blame |
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kid D Member
since 2000-10-18
Posts 64 |
i feel more comfortable in CA, because i started out there, but just needed to get this off my keyboard, and it is not the type one could critique (well lol guess someone could tackle it, but it wouldn't be easy lol), so hope its ok to post it here  someone to blame putting down my fork my salad still half full the realization hitting the back of my throat and my appetite at the same moment... I really have nothing to keep me here amongst the vast expanse of people typing out dreams finding lovers for just one night finding husbands finding wives finding friends for life I have typed out six years of existence into cyber history and have deftly explored my emptiness for all to see and I could turn off the switch and who would cry who would miss me anyway just another name on a screen to be replaced by another name on a screen and I wish I was a real writer not a poet wannabe I wish I had a book to write I wish I was in love with a poet who linked our souls with words I wish I wasn’t lonely when I drive my car I wish I wasn’t me cause I don’t like me anymore well there was really only that small window of time that I truly did those days when you showed me how to smile people tell me I am pretty when I smile and you made me pretty but now who am I? certainly not who I ever wanted to be and I think that’s part of the problem I never thought out who I wanted to be I just was a barefoot sixteen year old before he molded me into the wife he insisted that i be and I lost 25 years between then and now and I sort of remember that girl who was free to be and I have no idea why I let him take control except that it was easier than fighting and most days were hard enough already two little ones to make smile and I know I caved in and I can’t take it back but I can change it if I want to but do I want to is being in control all that anyway? do I want to roll up my sleeves and change my own tires sleep by myself (even more so than I already do) for the rest of my life? oh sure, there is somebody out there just perfect for me and all I have to do is get to where we can make eye contact and fall instantly in love and ….can anyone give me directions cause I wouldn’t mind waiting for love to show up, if I just knew I was waiting in the right spot cause the older I get the more lost I feel and is being alone gonna make it alright? and no, you don’t have to answer I know it won’t I have to do that where ever I am I have to learn to be at home inside of me but do I want to? some days I really don’t mind living inside a stranger it gives me someone to blame [This message has been edited by kid D (edited 10-26-2000).] |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
This is wonderfully done. I held my breath as I read it - you speak for millions of us out here in cyberland. Thank you! |
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kid D Member
since 2000-10-18
Posts 64 |
thank you Poet deVine...i just came to make a small edit and found your comment to touch one other soul with ones words, though i still am not sure how, makes life easier to bear thank you again |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
somehow, I think you transcend "wannabe" into an "am"...as, 'I "am" a poet...' now, repeat that for the rest of your life... Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?...KRJ |
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Ron K. Fox Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925 |
can anyone give me directions cause I wouldn’t mind waiting for love to show up, if I just knew I was waiting in the right spot Summed up perfectly. being in the right palce at the right time or even being in the wrong place at the right time. when it finds you it finds you and walks up and say, hello. |
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kcsgrandma Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1522Presque Isle, ME |
WOW!!! kid, I have been thinking all week about the parts of me I lost in my marriage, and have been trying to write about it, and here you have already said so much of what was on my heart! I've been reading your work in CA, and I know you have lots to say. Don't be shy about dropping over here with us once in a while. It's good to have you around. To love another person is to see the face of God. - Les Miserables Marilyn |
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Alle'cram Senior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 1816Texas |
kidD, Wow!! You held me from beginning to end. A lot of feelings and I really enjoyed this read. Marcy ps: saw that sense of humor! smile |
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kid D Member
since 2000-10-18
Posts 64 |
Sunshine, thank you *big smiles* Ron, yep it happened to me once, even though i put it into this piece with a bit of cynicism thank youkcsgrandma, well could be that we are both grandma's, my little ones are precious to me also thank you for your comments, glad you enjoyed, thank you for the welcome, my writing of late has been very sporadic but i like feeling like i have somewhere to post them when they do surface alle'cram...hey...what does your name mean?...have wondered but never asked you...and thank you much glad you enjoyed...and yep, your comment made me smile, so guess my sense of humor is not as far gone as i thought *g*[This message has been edited by kid D (edited 10-27-2000).] |
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bestgirl911 Senior Member
since 2000-10-04
Posts 551Clio, MI , United We Stand |
Very nicely done....You express the feelings in this so simply and so well. Best |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
"I could turn off the switch and who would cry who would miss me anyway just another name on a screen to be replaced by another name on a screen" There are so many parts of your poem that I identify with, especially this stanza. Sometimes the world feels to big for me... You are a poet, a real one, and people need to keep hearing what you have to say! |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
Time for more to read... |
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nicolette Junior Member
since 2000-07-30
Posts 42St. Paul, Minnesota |
gorgeous poem. I loved it. |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
Hugs for Kid D.. Someone to blame.. I know this poem, it's me too.. It's good to write this.. this is the kind of poem that you write for yourself.. it's hard to say I love the poem, though I certainly enjoyed being able to read it.. and it is very well expressed, but seeing someone tear themselves down like this, well, I'm sorry.. that's all.. You are a 'real poet' and if you turned off the screen, in any way, someone would miss you.. after reading this, I would miss you.. and I'm going to search out your other poems and read them all too, then I'd miss you more.. Love, Lynne “One word can be magical. Imagine then, the effect of several words, together..” |
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