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Here I stand
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Here I stand |
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Wobbly Head Bob Member
since 2000-05-15
Posts 299Virginia, USA |
In my eye, upon the sky, my hero's die In my dream, of yonder stream, my fathers' scream On my bed, I've already said, today I bled To my friend, Heart to lend, I know the end Cross my face, dots in space, but whats the case Down my cheek, sprung a leak, he says I'm weak Curl my fist, flex a wrist, now he's pissed Throw my hand, faced a land, HERE I STAND |
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| © Copyright 2000 Wobbly Head Bob - All Rights Reserved | |||
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
victory for you  hmm..i'm liking this one wob..! (i'm too tired to make much more sense than that..but i may be back with another comment tomorrow!)dg "Half of what i say is meaningless; but i say it so that the other half may reach you." -Kahlil Gibran |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Very nice piece here, I like it. |
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Wobbly Head Bob Member
since 2000-05-15
Posts 299Virginia, USA |
Thanks Dg, and Lakewalker...to be honest this is another one of those things just pounded onto the keyboard without thinking to too much, I'm glad though you took the time to read and reply! |
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Lady Lost Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 470 |
I love the way this is written..what a unique style! This is a really great piece.......beth You can never have too much fiction; reality can be such a bore |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
cool poem, Bob. I like the way you used internal rhyme. It makes the poem sound, and look cool. stay cool  ~~Lavada~~ |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Yo Bob... there be some power here. Hmmm... Classic confrontation between father and son... son seeking independance from overbearing father... possible disagreement on underlying issues. Like the format of writting. Not bad for just "banging" it out. Peace! |
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Wobbly Head Bob Member
since 2000-05-15
Posts 299Virginia, USA |
Wow, thanks again for the praise peeps! Andrew, thats basically true what you wrote, but its not so much seeking independance as it is a kid who's not going to take this crap anymore, and he builds this anger, represses it, and then explodes without considering consequence and not caring. Thanks for reading all! |
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