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lovers in the mist
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lovers in the mist |
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untold sorrow Junior Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 12aiea, hawaii, united states |
the rain came down in mystic waves and softened up the ground while lovers stood bound by the heart with not a soul around both soaked and cold as winter nights clothes sticking to their skin yet all they need to keep them warm is warmth of love within their eloquently spoken words under terrential rains whispered into each others ears hidden by silken manes and suddenly the sun broke through as tenderly, they kissed and thought about when they once were the lovers in the mist |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
This is beautiful ! I love it  I'm looking forward to more of your work. Welcome to Passions and especially to the Pub.  Cheers !  |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
hi and welcome to Passions... this is VERY beautiful...lovely imagery of both the surroundings and the lovers. very smooth rhyme flow as well...and a real romantic poem...how nice(I've been over in my home away from home-Dark Passions)so this is nice change of poetry themes..(smile) I hope you enjoy it here...take care janet marie "Bring it on baby what you getting into... I swear at once it was the little things that mattered-- But it all seems true to you. Say the hell with my name and say the hell with my picture... but swear, for the one time you need me around. And here I'll stand like it matters... Only once love gets through then gets scattered by the rain... But pain gives me the right to be unkind"... Tabitha's Secret |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Welcome to Passions, Untold Sorrow! This is absolutely beautiful!! Please check your email for a special welcome! I am having ongoing computer problems which seem to be worse at night when the site is busier. I will have to read your other poems tomorrow morning. I'm sure they are wonderful as well. Denise |
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Panne447 Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 196S.A. TX |
US, Very nice image and I like the form you took to tell this - but I am partial to rhyme and meter and for the most part it flowed nicely. I only had one bump reading: both soaked and cold as winter nights clothes sticking to their skin yet all they need to keep them warm is warmth of love within ***I would avoid repeating 'warm' here and add another syllable for the beat - something like 'is the heat of love within' --see what I mean? and a typo: their eloquently spoken words under terrential rains<--torrential Other than those 2 places I enjoyed your quatrains and am glad I found this. Panne |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
This is a lovely poem. Welcome. Joyce |
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Trillium
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098Idaho, USA |
Beautiful, romantic poem. Good work. Betty Lou Hebert |
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ellie LeJeune Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156King of Prussia, PA USA |
Welcome! this is so beautiful and romantic...looking forward to more of your poems! Ellie A friend hears the song in my heart, and sings it to me when my memory fails. |
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twilah Member
since 2000-09-25
Posts 91Maine, USA |
This poem is beautiful, romantic and smooth..it is as beautiful as the state that you live in...I could almost hear the music playing as you wrote it.... ) Twilah |
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