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Jacie's Path

Ariadne
New Member

since 2000-04-09

Posts 8

0 posted 2000-05-09 11:18 PM

hey, i know something is amiss here, so please feel free to critique all you want, it could only help

Jacie's Path

Somewhere between
the hectic tumbles of Austin
and the weary bowling alleys
of the Carolinas
moaning with age,
flutters the wavers of memories
baby fat I
no longer feel
on your cheeks

Somewhere along that artery
you flung all sentiment,
all remembrance: me
out the window
and zipped yourself:
fresh into khaki capris
aiming your view
face front,
one foot to the journey

the fallen heal to me
the ageless caped cursador
once of boasting stature--
of sprightly step and learned eye
now sulking upon her rusted bones
her loosening grip, her reluctant pride
as the once towering altar
is wrenched from lodgment
and fitted anew
below the tender soles
of Mary Kate & Ashley

This time you visit
I find cheek bones that were never there:
wavering curves
that can't seem to agree
which way to bend.
Yes, this time you visit
ghost stories are fed for little kids
--true
what am I compared to Mtv
when now you eat a lady's palate?

Broken_Winged_Angel
Senior Member

since 2000-04-06

Posts 994
Small Town, Somewhere

1 posted 2000-05-10 01:54 AM

I am not sure what you were talking about when you wrote this, but it made me think of my Grandma and her struggle with cancer. I really like it.

I awake to a world I don't want. There is no transition for me. I am in heaven. I am in hell.

Jon Mewett
Senior Member

since 2000-03-04

Posts 1304

2 posted 2000-05-10 10:32 AM

I like this -but I don't know why.

It feels desolate and it has a yearning quality to it.

Yeah I like it.

Jon

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