Open Poetry #4 |
It's not okay |
Giggles Junior Member
since 1999-11-21
Posts 15 |
Hey people, this is my first time really writing poetry. Please tell me what you think, if it sucks, tell me it sucks, if it's good, please tell me its good. Thank you! Here goes... Now, because, as you so simply put it, “My feelings have changed,” I am expected to go on living life, pretending it’s okay. But it’s not. While I cry, I’m wishing for someone to hold me and comfort me. But you’re not here, so I must learn to comfort myself. And when my tears fall, I must learn to catch them myself, instead of waiting for you to come back, and brush them away. I wish I had a say, in what goes on around here. Because, to me, it’s not okay. I want the real you back. The you that made me smile, not cry. The you that made the good times and laughs, come so easily. I want the real you, the you I still love, by my side. When you have shared as much as you and I have, our hearts, dreams, thoughts and fears, when you know someone well enough to see sadness behind a smile, when two people believe in one another, you can be sure it’s love. Because you have felt it. Love is a blanket that comforts you and a handkerchief that catches your tears. Love is having someone to share with you every challenge, every joy, every trial in your life. I still need you, and want to share every challenge, every joy, and every trial in my life with you. But if you don’t need me, and you think it’s okay, then you will go. I will miss you. I won’t pretend it’s okay, because it’s not. But I will learn to comfort myself. I won’t hold on. But I’m not yet ready to catch my own tears. Because you said, “My feelings have changed,” I am expected to go on living life, pretending it’s okay. But it’s not. “If you love something, let it go, if it comes back to you, it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was.” [This message has been edited by Giggles (edited 11-28-1999).] |
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© Copyright 1999 Becky - All Rights Reserved | |||
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Well I don't think anyone here would tell you it sucks Giggles! And it doesn't - I get a good feel of the emotion in this. For a first attempt at freeverse I would say you have done quite well - and welcome to Passions! |
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Giggles Junior Member
since 1999-11-21
Posts 15 |
Thanks Severn. I was pretty nervous about putting my feelings on the web. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Yes - that's understandable, it carries its risks like anything does - I hope you'll feel safe here. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Welcome to Passions Giggles, what a heartfelt piece |
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Carrie Junior Member
since 1999-11-18
Posts 11lithia springs,GA,USA |
Your poetry moves me. I understand how you feel and where it was going. You have the talent. Thats was so cool. You put into words the way I feel and i can connect to the feelings in this poem. Keep up the good work! Carrie |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Welcome to Passions! Touching poem. ------------------ Denise |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Welcome *Giggles* S-uch U-nderstanding C-aring K-ind S-entiment It Rocks ------------------ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Giggles Junior Member
since 1999-11-21
Posts 15 |
Thank you everyone. I really do feel welcome here. |
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