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Open Poetry #4
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And They Wonder Why I Drink
| Open Poetry #4 |
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And They Wonder Why I Drink |
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Justin Ebriated New Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 6 |
And They Wonder Why I Drink My daddy's locked up in the joint. My mother's on the rag. My sister is a streetwalker who's living from a bag. My cousin's name is Justin Thyme, he's locked up in the 'stute. And so's his brother, Justin Kace this fact he'd soon refute. My sister, Justine Ormous, she's a burglar in DC. And Justin Sayne, my uncle -- he sometimes thinks he's me. My other uncle Justin Uff, he's hanging with a gang. And my aunt Jest (that's Shirley U.) just stole a blue Mustang. Justin Denial, my big bro, is very much my friend! Justin the nick of Thyme, he came, with bottles full again! And people wonder why I drink and drown out all my cares-- when Justin Nate, my other cousin stole our MS shares! That stock today could make us rich! (Well, Bill is rich as hell!). But Justin Kace you didn't know, he first stole then said, "Sell!" Within a day, that Justin Nate sold out our second chance! And then my uncle, Justin Trude, refused to take a stance! See, Justin Trude, he was a judge elected by the state. But he eloped and disappeared-- t'was too much on his plate. "Our family's too dysfunctional", my uncle Justin said. And then he ran off with this whore and landed Justin Bed. They say to be Anonymous would help my mind to think of why I have decided that I have to take a drink! Well, here and now, I'm telling you I think that they are blind! They just don't know no families that are the Justin kind. They call us Justins horrible... a screwed up, awful bunch. And then they wonder why I drink.... I'm drinking them for lunch! by Justin Ebriated 11/20/99 [This message has been edited by Justin Ebriated (edited 11-20-1999).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Justin Ebriated - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Gosh another Justin! I am sorry to hear about your family. I would be drinkin too if they were mine! |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Hey Justin, this was so kewl, enjoyed the read  ------------------ What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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Justine Uff Junior Member
since 1999-10-17
Posts 27 |
I see you're Justin Ebriated Not Justin Thyme these days I can no more enable you That's gest what Shirley says I've tried and tried to pull you out The gutter is your home. You'd rather carry a brown bag That's full of Sutterholm. You're hanging with Jack Daniels now And Johnny Walker Red. Imbibe all night - then in the morn You can't get out of bed!! You wake up in the afternoon And have another drink.. And if those other two are gone You put up quite a stink! I shall not do this any more I'm gonna play with Hoot From this day forth you heed my word You're locked up in the 'stute!! This simply has been Justine Uff!! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Sooooooooo Funny! ------------------ Denise |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
LOLOLOL.... Dat be some funny stuff! Didn't know the Justin family was soooo BIG. I don't think the 'Stute has enough room for them all. |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
ROFL!! |
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Justin Credible Junior Member
since 1999-10-09
Posts 10 |
This is Justin Credible that you're talking 'bout us. Justin Ebriated, you're a derelict! Get back on the bus! And Happy Thanksgiving to your side of the clan, but frankly I'm sick of your ranting, man! You're a derilict, Justin! So keep your mouth shut, or Auntie Justine will go kick your butt! Derelict: "a destitute homeless social misfit : VAGRANT, BUM" -- American Heritage Dictionary JC [This message has been edited by Justin Credible (edited 11-25-1999).] |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
HAHAHAHA LOVE IT ------------------ What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
I think I know that Justin dude We've tipped a few together But only when we're thirsty Or a little under the weather Or when it gets too hot out Or the snow is getting deep Moderate temperatures might do it too It helps us get to sleep If the sun is shining brightly Or the sky is full of clouds It's not like we drink all the time For crying out loud And we're really quite selective We drink only certain brands Which would be in our case What comes in a bottle or can . |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
ROFLMAO |
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Ohme Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816Texas |
Justin, ROFL  . And I sure needed a laugh.------------------ Yesterday is history, tomorrow just a mystery. And if today is good to me how could I ask for more? |
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Nurse Crachet Member
since 1999-09-27
Posts 318They know where I am! |
Hey Justin's your relative Justin Consistant has enrolled you all in the community circus. Sounds like it's right up your alley, maybe will get some peace and quiet for a spell around here. |
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Beri Member
since 1999-11-25
Posts 149 |
ROFL, I loved this! Made me sure think about how its good to laugh at these things every once in a while. I think I definitely must share this with a few appreciative friends! :-) |
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Miss Behavin' Member
since 1999-06-16
Posts 84 |
Be Beri Beri quiet.... Don't disturb Justin Stitute... |
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E.Fudd Junior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 38Dolgeville, N.Y.U.S. |
Hey Doc , Wooks wike you better dwag out the welome wagon again ! |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
ROFL and 'p***sing' myself stupid! |
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Ain' Miss Behavin' Junior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 25 |
Watch yerself Severn - Behavior like that will get you locked up too!! |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Hmmmmmm , Beri interesting ! Let's see what's on the old clipboard . Beri Nyce , sugar and spice Beri Joose , to make you loose Beri Beri , sedentary , Brought by mosquitoes . I'm not sure if I know this Beri Maybe one of those? |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Severn, One of the Justin's should be able to help you with that , altough I haven't seen him around for awhile . Perhaps you've met ... Justin Continent? |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I must have had one too many to have missed this... ROFLMAO!!! |
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Justin Toxicated New Member
since 1999-11-29
Posts 8 |
Hey, guys! I'm back! Been gone a while. But here I am again. I'm Justin Toxicated, see. They finally let me in! My cousin, Justin Ebriated, wrote this little song? I didn't know that he could type... he's been smashed way too long. How can he find the keyboard and how can he find the mouse? My cousin's Justin Idiot! How can he type when soused? Perhaps this song was written by another Justin dude... 'cause Justin Ebriated, man, don't even eat no food! He drinks from Thyme the sun comes up and then he drinks his lunch. And after lunch, he tips a few before he drinks his brunch. And then ol' Justin Ebriated takes a little snooze. And when he wakes at half past five, he sips a little booze. At seven, he is feeling fine but thirsty as can be. He finds the phone that's hiding underneath the old TV. And then he calls me up to say, "Jushtin, whatsh ya shay? Come over, ship shome wine wish me and letsh shtay out and play." By this Thyme, I'm a little looped and don't think I can drive. I tell my cousin Justin that I'd rather stay alive. Well, Justin Ebriated thinks he smart and bright, you see! He tells me this, I kid you not, "You're Jusht ash shober ash me!" I laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh until I have to pee! My cousin Justin Ebriated is sober just like me!!! hahahahahahahaha Justin Toxicated |
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Beri Member
since 1999-11-25
Posts 149 |
Beri Nyce, yes, I am sugar and spice Combined just right, I can be quite nice. But push me to the spicy side, And I can give you quite a ride. Beri Joose, to make me loose? Hmm, I don't know if this is something I should refuse... Heehee. Keep it up, I'm quite enjoying this... LOL. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Now let me make this Beri plain This place is really Justin Sayne |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Thankyou kindly Dr Moose - does your diploma in doctoring include perhaps aiding me with my small problem? Justin was unavailable unfortunately, so you must help me! Anything else would be...Justin sensitive! |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Severn , Unfotunately , the only license they would trust me with was poetic ( and I had to forge that ). Beri , You are getting Beri sleepy Things just don't compute To understand completely You must join us in the 'stute' Beri soon you'll come to understand What it's all about But 'till then be Beri careful They just might not let you out |
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ONE FLEW OVER Member
since 1999-09-18
Posts 55Cuckoos Nest |
Hey guys, I need some of that stuff your drinking, this nursie here is driving me crazy. Where you gettin the stuff from anyway? I'll take some Southern comfort when someone takes the next run, I'll pay you back on pay day. Oh my, I seem to have had brain fade no pay here in this place. I'll, I'll shine your shoes or fluff your bed. Please, please, please I need a taste of comfort. |
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Beri Member
since 1999-11-25
Posts 149 |
Oh, Beri beri sleepy am I Take me, take me, take me away I knew there was a reason why Lately I was feeling more than okay Too much drinking with the Justins on the sly Has made me so happy and gay To the 'stute I must go To join you all in fun I'll be there soon, so so so Wait for me and soon I'll see you hons!! |
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