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Open Poetry #4
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Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 1999-12-02 09:59 PM


Old Toerag seem to get a kick
Of picking on my job…
If I'm no intellect like him
Then I must be a slob.

Well, I guess it is up to me
To teach this boy a lesson.
It's time to take a look at mister
Toerag's great profession.

They say that he's a teacher.
Of what, I'm not quite sure.
It certainly isn't English or
Some form of literature.

They say when he conducts his class
He really has a nerve.
His tests are given orally
And he grades 'on the curve'.

If a student's blouse is buttoned up
Where he can't see her cleft,
She may as well forget her grade.
She's gonna get an "F".

If her skirt comes up just far enough
To show a dimpled knee
And, perhaps a flash of nylon, then
She might just get a "D".

If she drops her chalk a lot
And bends over from the waist,
There is no doubt beside her name
A "C" will then be placed.

If the skirt is up and neckline down
Exposing double D's,
Just bet the farm and bank account
Her grade will be a "B".

And, for those special students
Who really want that "A"
And don't let anything like prudence
Get up in their way

They ask for help with homework
And give Toerag their address
They spend the night just boning up
On lessons, I would guess.

Then, if by early morning,
They've satisfied Toerag
By putting out….strong effort, then
The "A" is in the bag.

So, ladies, if you go to school
And sit in Toerag's class
To get an "A" by Toerag's rules,
You better show your a….!


© Copyright 1999 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
1 posted 1999-12-02 10:04 PM


Bal, you got him all wrong you know..cause

Toerag is all man and likes to makes us laugh
but now and then he makes us cry equally as well
but one thing he would never do is ask to see my ass
Cause Toerag here has way too much fine class!

Great poem Bal...

HUSG

------------------
Yesterday is but today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream...

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow
2 posted 1999-12-02 10:05 PM


I knew you would not disappoint with your come back to Mr.Toe. LOL I loved it.
Poet deVine
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since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
3 posted 1999-12-02 10:24 PM


So I was good in class you know
I was a student of Mr. Toe
Don't know 'bout all this fuss
Mr. Toe gave me an A Plus!




Nan
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since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
4 posted 1999-12-02 10:38 PM


Deer Balladeer, 'tis this I know
About our old friend, Raggy Toe
This teacher's famous litany
Is that he taught porn..... photography...

Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 1999-12-02 10:50 PM


Oh, Balladeer -
This is a retort at it's finest.
You really have me laughing now!
This one made the 'honor roll'.

He'll probably make you
stay after class.
COVER YOUR --- !

------------------
~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
6 posted 1999-12-02 11:09 PM


Rainbow, I can't believe there are two Toerags in the world but there must be...'cause we're not talking about the same one!
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
7 posted 1999-12-02 11:23 PM


Bal: as I switch this thing off, that's cause you don't know the darling that I do, but then you're a man and I'm the one that gave him the name TOERAG...and he's as sweet as a nut....that's why he's called Toerag!

HUSG

------------------
Yesterday is but today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream...

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
8 posted 1999-12-02 11:58 PM


LMBO...good one Balladeer! Just remember if you drop the chalk, just LEAVE it there!

Ok Toe, whatcha got?

------------------
<*\\\><
Jesus is the reason for the season


JTF
Member
since 1999-08-09
Posts 319
France
9 posted 1999-12-03 03:57 AM


ROFLMAO ... Great one Balladeer ... ... and Rainbow, maybe that's a male thing but I think Deer is right ... Besides, as you pointed out, Toerag is quite known for his sweet nuts *g*
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
10 posted 1999-12-03 06:01 AM


I've taken many classes,
Don't need another degree -
But I'd sure be enrolling
(And pay whatever fee!)
If every course requirement
And every elective, too
Were taught by that sweet Toerag...
A degree? I'd stay for two!


Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
11 posted 1999-12-03 07:01 AM


The degrees are certainly piling up in here.... Geesh - I, personally, love them both Deerly - Head to Toe....
Ohme
Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816
Texas
12 posted 1999-12-03 10:43 AM


What would we do without Toerag and Balladeer? One thing is for sure. We wouldn't laugh as much! Thanks for the giggles.
U K Hero
Member
since 1999-08-08
Posts 266
England
13 posted 1999-12-03 03:18 PM


Ha... I do love reading the banter between you two guys, why dont you kiss and make up...no, no keep going the way you are, its more fun to read.
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
14 posted 1999-12-03 03:31 PM


Ha! I'm sure everybody notices that I do not fling witless arrows at either of these two jesters. I leave them to their own devices, and enjoy the spoils of the pyrhhic victories.

Old Deer and Toe square off with words,
Their malice is plain to see.
Whist I wait in the shadows,
And feed the flames they breathe.

I knew that bringing Toe in here,
Would ignite a powder keg.
No matches? Here, let me help,
I'll even strike the match's head.


I love ya both - I'm sorry I've been away for so long, and will be a stranger for a while longer. While you two seem worlds apart, you are truly cut from the same bolt of cloth.

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
15 posted 1999-12-03 03:42 PM


My dearest sailor friend,
I've missed you quite a bit,
But your poem above is a tad bit off,
Cuz the cloth remarks don't fit!

Balladeer's a cut of cloth,
That's the accurate part,
But I'm a cut of silk so fine,
He's cheesecloth from Kmart.

He's definitely a "SECOND"
An irregular that's not quite right,
But his weave is not the usual,
It's obvious in light.

But he's always on the blue light special,
A bargain at half the price,
He's good for toilet paper,
For that he does suffice!

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
16 posted 1999-12-03 03:53 PM


(Clucking tongue with regret)

Dear Toerag, you old rascal,
I've been a stranger way too long.
You've become irrascible,
Your words are now too strong.

Tis true old Balladeer our friend,
May be longer in the tooth.
But he deserves a better end,
Than Mr. Whipple would peruse.

As for your silken origin,
Remember from whence your came.
Silk's from a worm's suthern end,
Are you saying you're the same?

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
17 posted 1999-12-03 04:01 PM


Surely you're a jester,
Do ya think I'm polyester?
I'm refined silk from the finest weave,
And if you really don't believe?
think of the negligee your "sweetie" wears,
And remember I've been next to "there"....

suthern
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since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
18 posted 1999-12-03 04:03 PM


And then there is that sailor
He's just a tiny thread
Since he became unraveled
At the thought of sweet Lor's bed! *G*

Hiya, scalawag... good to see you and that fine silk at it again! *G*

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
19 posted 1999-12-03 04:05 PM


ROFL...if I could talk instead of laughing I would...ROFLMAO !!!!

HUGS you guys

------------------
Yesterday is but today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream...

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
20 posted 1999-12-03 04:35 PM


hmmpphhhh - so, ya lil Belle - just a thread am I? Sure! And the cables holding the Golden Gate Bridge are just spider webs! I am not a thread, I'm just kinda stringy and tough!

Hi there, lil Queen.

As for you, Mr. Scalawag Toerag, it is great reading your words again. Have you headed for warmer climes yet?

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
21 posted 1999-12-03 04:56 PM


What fiber is he made of
Our dear friend called Toerag?
He's threads of 21 karat gold
Woven through a burlap bag

And what about the other one
Mr. Balladeer?
He's imported damask of the finest grade
Stained with mustard and beer

Liz

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
22 posted 1999-12-03 05:20 PM


LOL - nice shot, Liz

May I add another verse???

And what of that saintly sailor,
The finest man of seven seas?
What is the make of his cloth?
He's of silver filigree.


Balladeer
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
23 posted 1999-12-03 08:34 PM


....stained with mustard and beer, Elizabeth?
Sally S.
Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847
Ohio
24 posted 1999-12-03 10:10 PM


LOL!! I can't decide who's funniest. Shaking my head at the lot of ya!
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
25 posted 1999-12-03 10:19 PM


I had to make it rhyme
Liz

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
26 posted 1999-12-03 10:34 PM


I think I've finally cracked...cause I had this strange vision of Toe and 'Deer' getting married...and I, suthern, Iloveit, PdV and Nan, troopsing up the aisle as bridesMen....I can just hear the words but I dareren't repeat them because I couldn't anyway I'm laughing so much and it's all Marilyn's fault...ROFL...ooops...hope my wacky sense of humour doesn't offend..ROFLMAO!!!..hmmmm...sorry!...ROFL! Not to mention getting a degree...but one thing is for sure, you guys both get a 1st in the degree of laughter!...

How to make others laugh degree: passed with excellence by Toe and Bal with HONOURS!

------------------
Yesterday is but today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream...


[This message has been edited by RainbowGirl (edited 12-03-1999).]

Nan
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
27 posted 1999-12-04 07:39 AM


Watch out, ToeRogue..... Silk is woven by little worms, isn't it? Methinks that Bigroach may send his brigade of exterminators after them if he sees them spinnin' about........
caroline
Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218
http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm
28 posted 1999-12-04 07:42 AM


~*ROFL*~

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