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Open Poetry #4
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Better find some Innocence...
| Open Poetry #4 |
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Better find some Innocence... |
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rascalx Senior Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 590Florence, SC, USA 
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Ok, I admit it..I am a closet fan of all of those three-chord hair metal bands of the 80's. This poem/song was written with my air guitar cranked way up along with my sarcasm.. Jeff Pretty little girl in her dirty down clothes Walks a mean shake everywhere she goes Teasing little smile with a twinkle in her eyes She is drop dead gorgeous so why is she surprised? When Johnny Studly jumps her in the middle of their date "She acted like she wanted it, so I thought it would be great!" Now he is doing time because he took the bait Guys, you better find some innocence before it's too late Bright red lipstick on her little pouty lips Same colored seduction on her fingertips Blue jeans miniskirt that rides high up her thighs And when the passion started imagine his surprise When she starts necking Johnny in the back seat of his car "The girl was just all over me and she says I went too far!" You guys out there with virgins just don't know how lucky you are So you better find some innocence before she leaves her scars Momma never told me that it would be this way Who is the hunter? Who is the prey? |
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| © Copyright 1999 Jeff Osborne - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Most controversial. I choose to keep my opinion quiet here - but good poetical technique. |
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rascalx Senior Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 590Florence, SC, USA |
controversial? maybe, but I did write this with tongue firmly planted in cheek.:-) thanks for the compliment |
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scooby New Member
since 1999-11-29
Posts 2Beaufort, SC, USA |
I'd call this sexist if I didn't see you winking at us behind your smarmy grin...good form, though; you're right, this is a bad eighties song waiting to happen :-) Maybe something a little more romantic next time? |
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rascalx Senior Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 590Florence, SC, USA |
OK, I'll try romance next time since I seem to have struck a chord with those of the female gender. lol, and here I thought I was just being a wise-ass? ;-) |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
I loved this! Now if you'd only record it on a tape for me... ------------------ It matters not how strait the gate; How charged with punishments the scroll; I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul. --W.E. Henley |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Objection! Even if this were not written tongue in cheek, I would not feel that it was a "sexist" poem. I have seen this type of situation before where the girl totally brought something on herself (I saw the way she acted) and then decided she wanted nothing to do with the guy. After seeing that, I lost all sympathy I might have had for that type. ------------------ Nail to the mast her holy flag, Set every threadbare sail- And give her to the god of storms, The lightning and the gale! -Oliver Wendell Holmes |
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Cuddlez Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 422Walla Walla, WA 99362 |
Cool poem. I thought it was really cool... Rape isnt usually the girls fault, but in a case like that is is rape? I think not. Im a female and I think it is good. Anyone's opinion differ? |
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Cuddlez Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 422Walla Walla, WA 99362 |
Cool poem. I thought it was really cool... Rape isnt usually the girls fault, but in a case like that is is rape? I think not. Im a female and I think it is good. Anyone's opinion differ? ------------------ Time flies? Say it not so, time stays we go. |
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rascalx Senior Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 590Florence, SC, USA |
Thank you Elizabeth for your "objection"; although I purposely wrote this poem from a humorous perspective, I too have had first hand experience with this type of situation. After many years of hearing how most men were little more than hormone-addled sex-starved dogs :-), I felt it necessary to enlighten others about the equally sexist members of the female gender. And before I get any more responses about my sexist opinion, ask yourself - Doesn't everyone know at least one woman that they think is a slut? (wink) Tara, of course I must thank you for continuing to be a positive influence on my writings. :-) And I'll send you my recording of my best Poison imitations (wink) as soon as I am finished. :-) Cuddlez..I hadn't really thought of my work from the persective of rape but it is an interesting insight..thank you :-) [This message has been edited by rascalx (edited 12-02-1999).] |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Oh well, guess I'll do the opinion thing now! Let's see. We live in a society based around the premise of 'the beauty ideal'. Unfortunately, many girls believe they have to be stereotypically beautiful to be loved - and often arrive at the false conclusion that dressing in the way you have described is 'beautiful'. And then, they act to fit the part, to keep fragile self esteems hidden or/and intact - it's only when the consequences arise that they flee. So, the hunter perhaps is society to some extent and both male and females are the prey. Only generalisations of course.  K |
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sraet Junior Member
since 1999-08-04
Posts 31 |
Well, what can I say except, I loved "three-chord hair metal bands of the 80's" (would enjoy a good round of Poison every now and then) and I thought your post was insightful if taken very carefully (fine lines your stepping up to). Very much agree with Severn's last post about society beging the hunter. BTW, loved the last 4 lines! |
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Lynn Member
since 1999-09-20
Posts 316Jasper, Alabama U.S.A. |
Great subject. I know girls like that, ad I know guys who have went through this. I also agree with Severn about the socity=hunter thing. ------------------ If time cannot heal your pain, you can always cry on my shoulder. ~Jenn~ |
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