»
Main Forums
»
Poetry Workshop
»
Aurora's Legend (Internal Rhyme)
| Poetry Workshop |
|
Aurora's Legend (Internal Rhyme) |
|
Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! 
|
Aurora’s Legend Late at night as mortals sleep the oceans cover castles’ keep. Despite grasp of darkened sky, a magic garden reaches high; world once silent is filled with song, the lilting tunes now belong Waves seem docile leave with tides; another world then comes alive. Humans slumber; silent sleep, as mermaids waken down so deep. Silver sheen from graceful tails; and jewelry shines on glassy scales. Hair of brown and golden red will sweep the richest coral beds; joyous music without end to rise above and soar in winds. People view such wondrous dreams while touched by imagery never seen; mermaids rise from watery lands and tend the Earth with gentle hands. Solos lift from deepest seas, the mermaids dance so gracefully. Sprinkled rainbows, fall on sands, while shining lights weave crystal bands. Magic carpets flying high, fingered light to touch onyx sky. Strands of color flirt with night; mermaids below enjoy the sight. Western shores with hints of gray will hasten maidens to away; diving deep to water lands, they offer gifts of ribbon strands Darkness becomes early day and beckons lights to teasingly play; colors dance, this gift from below, casting down a lovely glow. People watch the wondrous sight and name the show “The Northern Lights”. Aurora bright, aurora strong; celebrate this nocturnal song! --- Alison [This message has been edited by Alison (05-24-2008 01:05 AM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2008 Alison - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I found some areas to clean up - so this is a rewrite of above. -------------------------- Aurora’s Legend Late at night as mortals sleep, the oceans cover castles’ keep. Despite grasp of darkened sky, a magic garden reaches high; world once silent fills with songs, the lilting tunes now ring out strong Waves seem docile leave with tides; this other world then comes alive. Humans slumber; silent sleep, as mermaids waken down so deep. Silver sheen from graceful tails; and jewelry shines on glassy scales. Hair of brown and golden red will sweep the richest coral beds; joyous music without end to rise above and soar in winds. People view such wondrous dreams while touched by imagery never seen; mermaids rise from watery lands and tend the Earth with gentle hands. Solos lift from deepest seas, the mermaids dance so gracefully. Sprinkled rainbows fall on sands, while shining lights weave crystal bands. Magic moonbeams flying high, fingered streamers touch onyx sky. Strands of color flirt with night, the maids then dance to see the sights. Western shores with hints of gray will hasten maidens to away; diving deep to water lands, they offer gifts of ribbon strands Darkness becomes early day and beckons lights to flirt and play; colors dance, this gift from below, casting down a lovely glow. People watch the wondrous sight and name the show “The Northern Lights”. Shining bright, they dance so strong and bring to life our northern song! --- Alison |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Alison, this is really an excellent poem. The imagery and imagination you display are top-notch and you use the internal rhyme in a natural and striking way. There are a few places where it needs to be tweaked and, due to a long workday, I won't be able to get out my tweaking pen until later tonight but I'll be back. Very nice work, though. Hard to believe you're the same Alison as a month ago when you couldn't get through an iambic sentence! You are doing great... |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
