Soul-less Black ( Trochaic / Color?)

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Poetry Workshop

Soul-less Black ( Trochaic / Color?)

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite

since 1999-09-05

Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA

0 posted 2008-05-13 11:19 AM

As in stygian darkness dwells no light
shadow has no meaning in this place,
color fades afar into your night,
emptiness has shown its inner space.

Living, yet of life you seem devoid,
peering at your surface none can tell,
there behind obsidian employed
masking deeper yet another shell.

Madness surely lurks where you reside,
gruesomely your spectre closely looms,
cavernous your maw lay outstretched wide
rank with the decay of death and doom.

Here, before there is no turning back,
gaze upon the face of soul-less black.

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

1 posted 2008-05-13 01:40 PM

Don't tell ME what fades into my nought! My nought is inviolate!

Other than that, your poem is perfection indeed.....well done, doc

er, cancel that. My hard-nosed teacher personality caused me to check out sepulchral. According to dictionary.com and Webter's (including audio verification) the accent is on the second syllable PUL, which makes the start iambic.

Other than THAT, your poem is perfection indeed...well done, doc

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite

since 1999-09-05

Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA

2 posted 2008-05-13 02:31 PM

Balladeer,
You caught me , I also had to check the pronunciation and was about to do a re-write only to discover you were already one step ahead AGAIN! (Arrgh!) and, I really wanted to use that word too, oh well. Thanks for the critique, by my count that's four down and one to go.
Doc

[This message has been edited by Dr.Moose1 (05-13-2008 03:02 PM).]

Munda
Member Elite

since 1999-10-08

Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands

3 posted 2008-05-18 03:52 AM

YEAHHHH! finally the Doc has made a little error! I already started to think you could write "perfect" only.

Great job Doc.

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