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Simplicity of Sring (anapestic attempt)
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Simplicity of Sring (anapestic attempt) |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! 
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Warm sun beams shine on budding leaf trees. Shallow puddles invite all to play, as small kids, play in mud, showing glee. Sharing giggles, they jump through the day. When their dirty clothes drip on the rugs, all their Moms see and give loving hugs. They, too, jump in the puddles and grin sharing mud and the joys that it brings. --- Alison [This message has been edited by Alison (05-09-2008 02:42 AM).] |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
warm SUN beams SHINE on BUD-ing LEAF trees SHA-low PUD-dles in-VITE ALL to PLAY as small KIDS PLAY in MUD, SHOW-ing GLEE SHAR-ing GIG-gles, they JUMP through the DAY. when their DIR-ty CLOTHES DRIP on the rugs all their MOMS see and GIVE loving HUGS they TOO JUMP in the PUD-dles and GRIN sharing MUD and the JOYS that it BRINGS. it's like THIS you must WRITE every TIME Lotsa work needed here. Did I mention your iambic poem was terrific?  |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Shucky Darn! Ooookay, I am NOT drawing this one out as long - I'll be BAHK. A  |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Lovin' Those Words There are words in my head while I dream They are colors which stream on the page All these words are then painted it seems; when the palette and brushes engage. On my lips, a mere bite, nicely sweet all the words are now treasures to voice Is this love? Will it last? I entreat, as I know I am offered no choice I’m in need now to write with these words I will utter Haiku in my car While to many it's simply absurd Such a secret the words will impart! --- Alison [This message has been edited by Alison (05-10-2008 02:53 PM).] |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
You are a quick study with this form, Alison. I can find nothing wrong at all with this one...brilliantly done! Trochees and I await your return |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Maybe they build upon each other? I am hoping so anyway. Thank you, my teacher. A |
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Essorant Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada |
Well done, Alison. Which meter do you like best so far? |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Thank you, Essorant. You know I haven't worked in either to really have a 'favorite', but I found iambic the most challenging and interesting and anapestic the most fun. It's been tough as I have always marched to the beat of my own da Dum and Dum da and da da Dum's (and the sight has not always been pretty). Thank you again for your help. Alison |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
 Amazing how quickly you learn! It took me much, much longer.  |
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Claira Member
since 2008-05-11
Posts 102British but living in Thailand |
Hi Alison, That was fantasic, well done. I hope my efforts are as good as yours when I try and tackle anapesic. Hope you're ok honey, Claira x |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Thank you for all the encouragement, my wonderful (slightly unruly) fellow students. xoxoxo A |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Ya know, I don't even know what a 'sring' is. A |
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