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Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

0 posted 2008-05-08 06:03 PM


Warm sun beams shine on budding leaf trees.
Shallow puddles invite all to play,
as small kids, play in mud, showing glee.
Sharing giggles, they jump through the day.

When their dirty clothes drip on the rugs,
all their Moms see and give loving hugs.
They, too, jump in the puddles and grin
sharing mud and the joys that it brings.  


---

Alison


[This message has been edited by Alison (05-09-2008 02:42 AM).]

© Copyright 2008 Alison - All Rights Reserved
Balladeer
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1 posted 2008-05-09 08:25 PM


warm SUN beams SHINE on BUD-ing LEAF trees
SHA-low PUD-dles in-VITE ALL to PLAY
as small KIDS PLAY in MUD, SHOW-ing GLEE
SHAR-ing GIG-gles, they JUMP through the DAY.

when their DIR-ty CLOTHES DRIP on the rugs
all their MOMS see and GIVE loving HUGS
they TOO JUMP in the PUD-dles and GRIN
sharing MUD and the JOYS that it BRINGS.

it's like THIS you must WRITE every TIME

Lotsa work needed here. Did I mention your iambic poem was terrific?

Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
2 posted 2008-05-09 09:37 PM


Shucky Darn!

Ooookay, I am NOT drawing this one out as long - I'll be BAHK.

A


Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
3 posted 2008-05-09 09:38 PM


Lovin' Those Words


There are words in my head while I dream
They are colors which stream on the page
All these words are then painted it seems;
when the palette and brushes engage.

On my lips, a mere bite, nicely sweet
all the words are now treasures to voice  
Is this love? Will it last? I entreat,
as I know I am offered no choice

I’m in need now to write with these words
I will utter Haiku in my car
While to many it's simply absurd
Such a secret the words will impart!

---

Alison


[This message has been edited by Alison (05-10-2008 02:53 PM).]

Balladeer
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4 posted 2008-05-10 04:31 PM


You are a quick study with this form, Alison. I can find nothing wrong at all with this one...brilliantly done! Trochees and I await your return
Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
5 posted 2008-05-10 07:27 PM


Maybe they build upon each other?  I am hoping so anyway.

Thank you, my teacher.

A

Essorant
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since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769
Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada
6 posted 2008-05-11 01:24 AM


Well done, Alison.

Which meter do you like best so far?  

Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
7 posted 2008-05-11 02:28 PM


Thank you, Essorant.

You know I haven't worked in either to really have a 'favorite', but I found iambic the most challenging and interesting and anapestic the most fun.

It's been tough as I have always marched to the beat of my own da Dum and Dum da and da da Dum's (and the sight has not always been pretty).

Thank you again for your help.

Alison

Munda
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since 1999-10-08
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The Hague, The Netherlands
8 posted 2008-05-18 03:43 AM


Amazing how quickly you learn! It took me much, much longer.
Claira
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since 2008-05-11
Posts 102
British but living in Thailand
9 posted 2008-05-18 04:05 AM


Hi Alison,

That was fantasic, well done. I hope my efforts are as good as yours when I try and tackle anapesic.

Hope you're ok honey,

Claira x

Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
10 posted 2008-05-24 05:30 AM


Thank you for all the encouragement, my wonderful (slightly unruly) fellow students.

xoxoxo
A

Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
11 posted 2008-05-24 07:34 PM


Ya know, I don't even know what a 'sring' is.

A

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