»
Main Forums
»
Poetry Workshop
»
School is in session!!!
| Poetry Workshop |
|
School is in session!!! |
|
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
|
Well, i need to see what I have to work with here. I've seen great abilities of spitwad throwing and rubber band launching but can anyone here write right? Let's find out...write now!  Your first assignment will be a simple one. Write a poem or 8 lines or longer about a color. Hey, how much easier can it get??? Show me what you got...get busy!! Oh, by the way, never mention the color by name in the poem. Make sure the reader knows what color you are writing about. Ok....go! Oh, by the way, red, blue, black, white, green and yellow are out. We can't make it THAT easy now, can we? Extra brownie points for whoever can choose the most obscure color and still manage to convey it to the reader. You done yet????? |
||
| © Copyright 2008 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Colors Washed by Time A single tapered finger, bent and gnarled with age caresses old pictures falling from each dusty page, tracing faces once animated with expressive delight now washed dim under shadows cast by murky light. Vivid colors snuffed out by time’s oft cruel hands, a brilliant array suffocated to a monotonous end. Slowly, tears slide down a time-ravaged face; the joy, each day depicted, erased without a trace. Days, long gone, were painted in bright jeweled tones. Among memories, faded and worn, she sits alone. Colors come and go, washed away by touch and tears, merging and melding to show the passage of years. --- Alison |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Alison, that is a beautiful poem. It's touching, sincere and you paint the image beautifully. It also has nothing to do with the assignment, if I recall, unless there is one specific color you are referring to described and hidden in the meaning of the poem. Is there??? |
||
|
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Yes, actually there is. It might be too obscure though in the poem ... I was kinda stockpiling spit wads while I was writing. But ... yes, I do have one color in mind. And - you did say something about extra points for an obscure color and I didn't want to describe the color itself. I was trying to use how it looks. Might not have worked. Thank you (and I am laughing here) Alison |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
In that case, you are a brilliant poetess! I can't see it. If you tell me sometime what it is and I slap my head and say OF COURSE!!!, the brownie points are yours and you can take an extra 15 minutes at recess. don't tell me now...I want to find out if anyone else can find it. |
||
|
chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
Yes Alison, that is a beautiful poem and I see~silver~all over it. |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
interesting, chopsticks. Care to share where you see silver? |
||
|
chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
There are several hints at silver; but I’ll let Alison take the wings off of the butterfly |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Aw, you're copping out! if you saw silver, tell us where. In workshops you don't just say you have the answer - you tell how you arrived at it. Alison will let us know if we are right or not. Out with it!!! |
||
|
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Okay, I am not sure if I did this assignment right - it's hard because I KNOW the color. I refined it a tiny bit and included a hint. Maybe when I read others, I'll whisper, "Duh!" and feel like a real idiot for not being more clear. Refined Version: Colors Washed by Time A single tapered finger, bent and gnarled with age caresses old pictures falling from each dusty page, tracing faces once animated with expressive delight now washed dim under shadows cast by murky light. Vivid colors snuffed out by time’s oft cruel hands, a brilliant array suffocated to a monotonous end. Slowly, tears slide down a time-ravaged face; the joy, each day depicted, erased without a trace. Days, long gone, were painted in bright jeweled tones. Among memories, tattered and tan, she sits alone. Colors come and go, washed away by touch and tears, merging and melding to show the passage of years. Alison ------------------- Okay, after reading the instructions again, I continue to unsure that I followed them as intended. Soooooo, I wrote another -- do I get extra credit for this too? Justa hint. Old historical pictures, faded by time Furrowed fields, dirt dried in a neat line A Crayola color in a yellow box brand new, one that is kind of a brownish hue Fragile pages of books, dusty and old Sun-faded portraits once of colors bold A color that’s often associated with age, not chronological, but on picture or page --- Alison [This message has been edited by Alison (04-28-2008 12:13 AM).] |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
hmmm..well, I'm still lost here. I see you inserted the word tan but I don't see a lot of images that would make tan obvious and, besides, since the assignment definitely states the name of the color cannot be used in the poem, it can't be that. I'll keep looking. |
||
|
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Okay, I added to the post above your last one ... shouldn't you be in bed? I think it's after midnight and unless you are getting serious overtime for teaching this class ... I think the second poem is more to the instructions. I have always been a bit of a problem student. A |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
It's my complete dedication to my students that keep me awake Ok, that is much better. The furrowed fields, the brownish hue, the fact that you took the word tan out, I'm going to take a wild guess that it's....TAN! Actually, your finished product is very good for this assignment. A problem student? No way - you jumped in and tried! That gets you a gold, or at least, tan star  |
||
|
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Thank you, but it is NOT tan. (grins)  |
||
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I bet it rhymes with dust  |
||
|
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Nope, nope, nope - doesn't rhyme with dust.  |
||
|
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I should have stuck to my first choice, a shade of grey? Alison, I just loved your poem by the way, and the images it created were in 3-D. |
||
|
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Thank you so much .. xoxoxo .. but, no to shades of gray/grey. (grins) |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
ok, I'm giving it one shot before bedtime...sepia. nite nite |
||
|
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Yep! Yay on you! Sepia is the color.  |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Alison, I thought it was sepia from the beginning since most old photos lacked colors except for shades of black and brown, M |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Colored Less I write of it often, as my life's in between. It may be achromatic since it lacks colors seen. In the skies filled with clouds, or the walls shaded dark or in concreted buildings or in buildings you park. They are listed from light to the darkest of shades. Not the palest of pale nor the deepest of spades. You may use them in drawings (that's the first of it's name) Or call it a "day" when your mood feels the blame. You can suit it up right when a meeting comes due. It's a horse of a color that keeps shadowing you. M "Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less." (Will Moss) |
||
|
chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
Balladeer, show me the dunce stool and I’ll have a seat. I was burned by the gap. In the second line of Alison poem was pictures , that means photography , that means silver. Until the digital camera one third of the worlds silver went into photography.. In the abstract I thought the “ She “ in the tenth line could be a silver haired mother rocking alone in an old rocking chair , you may have never heard the song. I just Youtubed the song " Rocking alone in an old rocking chair " |
||
|
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Maureen, Is it gray? Alison |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
In Maureen's poem, I see charcoal or gray. Alison, it was interesting to see you keeping 'Deer guessing. My first thought was either beige or sepia. Very good, people. I may have to tackle this project. |
||
|
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Alison~ I recognized your choice of color, as it is a favorite of mine~ Time standing still in muted shades of framed sepia so divine~ *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
||
|
Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
A Japanese form must suffice to describe a color with no rhymes |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Black, Ron? |
||
|
Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
Gee, Kari, and I thought mine was much too obvious. The first post excluded both white and black, A wise judgment, I'm sure, by Mr. Mack, 'Cause it's a word with rhymes that rarely lack, While my color sounds like none in the pack. |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Orange. Duh, me. |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I may be a letter in a life that is marred or a name from a movie, when I was the star. How vivid I am, like a jewel to be worn tainted and painted since the day I was born. M "Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less." |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
maureen, I'm going to have to give your entries some thought in the morning (long day today). Thanks for joining in! |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
You all are doing great and this is a very good weapon to have in the poet's arsenal. Colors, of course, are known to represent certain emotions, such as red=excitement or passion, blue= calmness, etc etc. Good poets use colors to make the reader feel the emotion they want them to feel. Object -> color -> emotion. Great poets can cut out the middleman and go straight from object to emotion. Readers will feel the emotion relating to the object without even realizing that the color of the object had something to do with producing that emotion. It's a satisfying feeling to be able to guide the reader in such a manner (and sneaky way) |
||
|
Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
Rumor has it that Oprah is considering a remake of Maureen's color? |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Ya think, Ron? I think it might be one of Hester Prynne's (not so) favorites By the way, Maureen, that is excellent!  |
||
|
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
The poems are wonderful. |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
A flavorful mix, a stigma to some. Original source, once Greek, I've become expensive by weight with a carotenoid dye. Medicinal and sought after, in beds found, am I. M... since I am "mind-weighted" right now with personal stuff, I don't have much time to write, but these are fun~~~ |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Ron, how about purple? although that is too simple. I couldn't think of a rhyme for that. by the way for those who want to know I use this link to find some obscure color names http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_colors |
||
|
Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
I'm completely at loss here, since I have no idea of all the different shades and their names. For Maureen I thought of charcoal or marble, but that didn't turn out to be a colour. As for Ron... you thought it would be too obvious, so I figured it had to be a well known colour, but I can't think of any I can't find a rhyme on. ARGH! I guess I have to be patient and wait uh? My entry isn't hard at all, but this topic made me want to write something too, so here it is. I'm so happy the workshop is back! I Need Colour My doctor is a genius, Doc Moose is rather kind, He's found the perfect colour for a peaceful state of mind. Although I may not think in red, that's far too wild he says, It might arouse my passions and cause personal distress. Well, green I thought, I like all green, but Doctor Moose said "No! You'll think of trees and freedom, so you'll split on me and go." Now, yellow is no good for me, it gives me energy, The last thing that he needs from me is Justin ecstasy. He banished out the blue as well, it would get me depressed, My mood is quite annoying as it is, so he suggests I ban all colours from my life, even the white and black, And walk a fragile line, without an up or down, quite flat. So I said, "Doctor Moose the pic you paint is rather boring, I'd be flat-out in bed all day (you hope) and loudly snoring. You'll keep this colour far from me or I'll file a complaint, For I am Justin Genius and surely not a Saint!" So now the doctor hates me for refusing his true shade And lies in wait for victims he can easily persuade. |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
letter of a marred life? The star of a movie? Being worn? Tainted? Maureen, don't tell me it wasn't scarlet!! |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Ah, Munda, you will always be the queen to me, Justin Case you didn't know |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Ok, well I can see now that the class has only four students who do their assignments...and I was told it was a bustling class! I could teach this class in a closet!  |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I haven't done the assignment ... yet. I don't recall a due date.  |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Nope, no due date....just a DO date! |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
well my first two colors were guessed, although I didn't know if you want the answers yet or not. My last is a bit harder to guess I think... p.s. Munda Charcoal Gray was one |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Wow, Maureen! If scarlet is not the last one, I'm amazed. It all fits so perfectly. I must be a dummy  |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
It's scarlet Mike.I just had a moment on here to respond last evening. M |
||
|
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Was today (Friday) a teacher's In-Service Day? Did you play hookey? Accountability! We, the students, demand accountability! Do you have notes from your mothers for this AWOL day? You all (whoever all of you are) are marked with "Unexcused absences" today. Be aware that we students have expectations. A PS - for those who may have thought I am sweet and quiet, I just was taking my time to find my passion in poetry. It's found. PPS - Munda, the reason that I don't start a thread with my lessons are ... well there are two. 1. When I was coming in here to read older lessons, it was easier for me to follow the thread then to find everyone's contribution to the assignments on seperate posts. 2 I can't start a new thread on this board. I can only respond to those that are already started. |
||
|
Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Balladeer completely forgot to give you official permission to go to school? It must have been the Dutch tulips that distracted him. |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Alison....you're expecting??? I had no idea! No, the teacher is not playing hookey. The students are!!! 5 people did their homework here and four in the other one. Our classroom could be a phone booth! I wuz waiting for the rush of late assignments to flood my desk. It appears the rush is over |
||
|
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Is this the place to insert a pregnant pause? --- NO!  |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I'm rushing.. |
||
|
Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
This is my first time posting in this section and I'm not very good. lol Be nice please! ~Zach~ Strangers in the mist. See the tear appone my face? Emotions left like water down fears. No sercret left unmentioned but sercretly it hides there. Frozen over hearts and fragile like glass. You can't see what lurk's inside. You're lost in your mind, lost your trace. Trying to hold back the tears. But why try to help a soul like me? Didn't know you'd care... Niether looked at each other, translucent as they pass. They will never show what they feel because all they know is to hide. I know im not good at spelling.. lol
|
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Welcome, falling rain. Let me explain that this is not a place where you submit a poem for critique. We have a critical analysis forum for that. This is a place where you read the current lesson and try to write something that the lesson calls for. Please look for the lesson in Iambics and let's ee what you can do with it. Good luck! |
||
|
Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Thanks.. I tryed writing what the lesson called for.. I guess I messed up somewhere along the way... But thanks for the warm welcome.. Really apretteate it.. and hopefully you'll see more responds from me. "It might be easy to fall for someone but it's also easy to break a heart." - Zach Booker. |
||
|
graeshine2006 Member
since 2008-06-03
Posts 368The Prairie Lands, USA |
So what was the color Zach? |
||
|
ILoveTheRain Member
since 2008-03-02
Posts 157GA |
Clear?? I think it is. |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Yes, I would have guessed clear, also. Out with it, Zach!!! |
||
|
chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
Zach, that is the best one yet. You even got the teacher on that one. I think of tears as being multi colored, being transparent they're the color of whatever surface they're lying on. But, you are so right tears are clear, congratulations. |
||
|
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Are we going to get a new lesson soon? My pencils are sharp and my notebook is ready. |
||
|
SkaaDee Member
since 2008-04-07
Posts 116Canada |
Desire I bought twelve dozen roses for each shade of your lips. As grey turns to white under this Canadian sun it shows that nothing can be counted on - but Springs and peddles and desires and lips. [This message has been edited by SkaaDee (08-02-2008 10:07 PM).] |
||
|
Klassy Lassy Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187Oregon |
Looks like fun! [This message has been edited by Klassy Lassy (09-03-2008 11:20 AM).] |
||
|
Oklahoma Rose Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586Oklahoma USA |
I think Alison's poem color is GOLD. P.S. I do my 12 hour shift today. So, will be back tonight at about 7:30 p.m. Just stopped by before I head off to work. See you all tonight. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
