»
Main Forums
»
Poetry Workshop
»
As Easy as ABC'S
| Poetry Workshop |
|
As Easy as ABC'S |
|
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
|
Ok, Alison, and the rest of you poetic paraders, it's time for an ABECEDARIAN POEM! What in the world is that, do you mumble? Simple..it is an acrostic poem using consecutive letters of the alphabet to begin the lines. You can begin with the letter A, which would make the second line begin with B, the third with C, etc, etc...or you can begin with the letter of your choice and go consecutively from there. Poem length is up to you (minimum of 8 lines), but will not exceed 26 lines, unless you write it in Russian!  |
||
| © Copyright 2008 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
mutters that I am workin' on it |
||
|
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Still working on it (sheese, this is harder than it would appear  ) |
||
|
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
ABCDEFGHELP!  Always raining, or so it seems this year. Birds settle deeper into nests caring for fragile eggs not yet hatched. Dripping water soaks their breasts. Endless rain chills fragile bones. Feathers become saturated, green leaves create canopies. Hiding places are created. Insects flit, yet the birds are still. Junko, swallow, and the finch keep eggs protected and dry. Lengthy vigils are no cinch. Minute nests remain hard to detect. No bright to colors stand out, olive green and browns camouflage. Predators watch; fly about. Quiet birds remain attentive. Relentless, the steady rain falls, streaming along branches as the birds track a mate’s distinct soft call. Underneath them, eggs crack, vital movement from inside. Warming hatchlings within xylem, a safe place to hide Yet the rain persists until Zephyrs bring summer home Alison |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
All I can say is...wow! I'm retiring. You take over as teacher!!  |
||
|
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Nope, nope, nope!  You have to do it. It's the law! |
||
|
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
On the Brink of Yesterday Alone, I stand on cliff’s steep brink, broken pieces of schist slide slowly carrying loess and small pebbles, down in deepest waters to sink. Echoes of the past resonate from those who travelled the trails, gathering at river’s silted edge. Hunters today still congregate. Indigenous people once stood proud, just taking what they needed to live; keeping the hides, the meat and bones. Lessons from stories were told out loud Making clothes from animal skins, nothing wasted; everything shared. Only the wind remains to tell the tales, pushing back to when time begins. Quiet sings on backs of a breeze. Rich traditions remain in memories Standing, alone on cliff’s brink Time flirts as an eternal tease undulating around in my mind. Vast lands fold out into an expanse. Waters carry rocks from another age; xenoliths are treasures to find Yet, time melds distant past with today; zealous thoughts will paint my yesterdays. --- Alison |
||
|
moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
Alison This is a better poem than your revision in CA, especially given the constraints of ABC and rhyme. Just watch out for the artificial removal of articles in an attempt to sound more poetic. Unsurprisingly it makes it sound like you are trying to be more poetic! e.g. Alone, I stand on cliff’s steep brink, down in deepest waters to sink. gathering at river’s silted edge Quiet sings on backs of a breeze Standing, alone on cliff’s brink Oh, and can you really have a "steep" brink? Brink means edge. The cliff itself is steep the brink is simply the edge. "Steep" is imo redundant in any case. Can a cliff be anything other than steep? Watch for this in your writing too, the overmodification of nouns. But on the whole this was a very good attempt I thought. M |
||
|
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
laughs about the steep brink. Why, I do believe that you are right on that one. I'll look at the poem again later and I appreciate your comments. The one in CA was something that I was going to do for a speech contest. However, honestly? I am not that interested in the poem or rooster to play with it much more. I do thank you for your time over there though, and I'll probably be back in a day or so just to clean up the poem in CA because it bothers me. A |
||
|
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
You got me hooked, Michael. ---- On the Brink Alone, I edge closer toward the cliff’s brink, broken crumbs of schist plates slide slowly carrying loess and small pebbles, down into depth of cold waters to sink. Echoes of settlers long gone resonate from voices of those who travelled the trails, gathering at river’s edge. Hunters still continue to congregate. Indigenous people once stood here proud, justly sharing what they needed to live; keeping traditions alive. Lessons were learned from stories told out loud Making clothes for survival of animal skins, nothing was wasted; everything was shared. On light winds those tales are told, paying respect to our past as new days begin. Quiet sings on a ripple of a breeze. Rich cultures remain strong in memories Standing, alone on cliff’s brink Time flirts as if it’s an elusive tease, undulating to captivate my mind. Vast lands create endless scenic expanse. Water-smoothed rocks from a lost age; xenoliths are treasures, difficult to find. Yet, time melds distant past with my today; zealous thoughts now shall paint my yesterdays --- Alison |
||
|
moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
Am I allowed to do an ABC poem Mike? |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Absolutely, Moonbeam!! I look forward to seeing it  |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Alison, your poem is a great ABC poem.. B U T We are studying all of these forms for a reason. Can you tell me which meter scheme you used in this poem? Is it iambic? Trochaic? What are your feet doing here? Is the syllable count constant? Inquiring minds want to know!!!!!!  |
||
|
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
My feet were going callywumpus and had gone on vacation without me. They are back and willing to settle down and get to work. I'll be back with a rewrite on that poem. A |
||
|
moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
Fraid it's not metrical Mike!! A little twist on the 26 theme though. Poem about Life A birth makes Consuelo a woman. Down in the woods each note of birdsong pulls from her some awkward clench or grimace, so that the sphagnum moss beneath her hips quivers and seems to writhe as if disturbed. A sleeve rucked up, one bare arm juts awkwardly, the fingers hooked deep into the couch grass kneading to no rhythm or purpose. Her other hand splayed wide, ligaments ridge the skin, chipped and painted nails press taut chords from mother of pearl buttons which clutch the ragged edges of pink wool. This new life she feels with her numb hands, this first sight with her eyes, open but blind to the electric flash of jay, this deafness to the thrum from patches of bee rich willowherb; everything conspires to turn her inward to where there is only quiet, and a soft tearing as she begins to yield part of herself to the greedy world. Romany: child of a womb of lakes and hills, of warm valleys and the ever beckoning byway. Conceived, sexed, and rolled in a remnant: the earthy straw of late summer harvest, chaff blown from the combine, swept to a secret angle of hawthorn. The sappy hedge fronds hardening, overarch the act. Autumn's hips hung, split with seed undone by the urge to set deep into the loam before the first frost. A field away the heavy air carries vixen musk like signal ribbons threading through the snouts of badger, rabbit, hare; they pause. Taking the human animal into themselves all wildness celebrates this joining under the sun. He, unabashed, her whole sky, rears to the heavens then plunges to earth to claim the x of sealed lips, flesh ridden into flesh, breath into breath. Later, the wheels have rattled over many stones, many fires flared, the winter year has died. She searches for angelica and crushes rue to lick the oil. Then, desperate, she edges to margins of morning mists and firelight, zones of shadow where she cinches in her belt, breathes faster as the spring swells into summer. In a wood a mossy glade hums with bees. |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Well, you had me going on that one, moonbeam. First I was struck by the beauty of the writing. It's an excellent piece of writing. Then I thought, "Wait a minute! It's easy to take a prose piece, go to a spot in a sentence where the next alphabetically-fitting word is and creating a line break for the next line." Then I thought,"Wait a minute! Moonbeam is way too clever of a poet to resort to such an easy way to do the assignment." Then I looked closer and realized that the words you used in each sentence numbered 1-26, which showed the brilliance of the piece and the effort that went into it. Wonderful work, moonbeam |
||
|
moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
Heh. You spotted my hurry Mike. Some of the line endings are indeed very weak. I was too impatient, and it was too darned difficult trying to match the word numbers to the position in the alphabet! Thanks for the very kind words though. It was a very interesting exercise. M |
||
|
ken206573 Member
since 2008-10-14
Posts 487 |
beneath the stars i lay awake within the night, wondering why i see, pain, decay, sorrows light, when i want to sleep. darkness comes and covers me, seeping within my soul, as i try to leap, yet darkness pulls me so. but as i think i'm doom, i stare at this debt, the shadow of thy moon, beginning to have no regret. i've lived to be fourteen, not much of a life, mother i will soon see, i'll be in paradise. for i lived long to see, friends and loving hearts, today i'll find peace, dying beneath the stars. does it sound good to you? hope so  |
||
|
Oklahoma Rose Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586Oklahoma USA |
Balladeer, Sir, may I join your class? Except, I'm kind of dumb on this stuff. Well alright, maybe I am alot dumb. But, could I join, anyway? |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Ken, I'm a little confused by the poem. You show great promise but I get the feeling it could be about a person committing suicide, which wouldn't bee too good since that is forbidden on the site Also, this lesson is about abcdarian poetry, wich is described at the top of this thread. Take a look at the format and give it a try! Sue, you are ALWAYS welcome! There is no such thing as a dumb student (why did the image of a moose suddenly appear in my mind?). I look forward to your participation! |
||
|
Oklahoma Rose Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586Oklahoma USA |
Ok, Sir Balladeer! Here is a little something I wrote. I made an attempt, anyway. It is only 8 lines, though. Hope I did it right. Oklahoma WeatherAs I look around I can see |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
You say you're kind of dumb, Sue??? That is an EXCELLENT poem, clever and within all of the guidelines. WELCOME!!!  |
||
|
Oklahoma Rose Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586Oklahoma USA |
Thank you, Balladeer, Sir. |
||
|
ken206573 Member
since 2008-10-14
Posts 487 |
sorry about that, it wasn't suppose to be like that. i was basing it on some i read long ago. which i thought of forming it into a poem:< i'm still trying to get the hang of writing different poetry dear balladeer. |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
No problem, Ken. I look forward to seeing your work. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
