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It Was the Kiss - An Ode
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It Was the Kiss - An Ode |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart 
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It Was The Kiss – an Ode Tell me which beat I might miss For the heart is in pound, in time And I, I would but be remiss Not to recount the tale in rhyme Tell me where my thoughts have scattered Upon these high winds, I am sure Somewhere, clinging to limbs, tattered, While this feeling, so immature… It took me in amaze, you see, Feelings of drowning in surprise The richest part of harmony This sharing of two lover’s eyes… The softest touch, before lips met Softer still, in quiet release Framed in time of never forget Then knowing, no longer, warm peace… I awoke in sweet shadow’s dream Suffering pain of never known It was the kiss, surely, it seemed, Haunted by a far away moan The pillow felt my fist of fear My heart in search of recapture My cheek in burn, a solemn tear, That I might regain that rapture To hear the words “your lips, so soft” Whispered again near this, my ear To feel again my heart in loft But nay, only sweet burn of tear It was the kiss, white light of love That held me in such discompose Such is the fit of hand in glove While offering his love one rose This, then, is the ode to a kiss And that of a dream still in quest For know ye please, t’would be remiss To not hold that love to my breast. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Endlessecho Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398I live within myself |
"my heart in search of recapture" - you definitely captured the kiss. Beautiful poem, Sunshine. |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Sunshine, I'll leave the critiquing of this to those better qualified. In my humble opinion, ya done good. Doc |
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Bridget Shenachie Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056Kansas USA |
Loved your subject of the memorialized kiss. I'm still questioning, did I dream this or did it really happen? I don't understand the ode form well enough to critique this. I'm hoping to see lots of replies from Brian on these poems. Shenachie |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I'm smiling - We managed to get some "rhyme" out of your sunshiny head...  And what's better to write an ODE to than a kiss? That works...  About the meter? It's "Sunshiny"... It is...  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Thank you Nan. You know I'm working on meter. Not an easy thing, for a free-versing sunnyone....  ... |
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