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This My Prayer - Spondee/Pyrrhic Hexameter...I think
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This My Prayer - Spondee/Pyrrhic Hexameter...I think |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... 
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Okay...I wanted to do something a little different, and try a meter that I had never before attempted. So, I looked through the list that Nan had posted in this post, and immediately saw my challenge ... 'pyrrhic'. Her comment regarding this type of meter is what cinched it for me. She said... "pyrrhic - (short/short) - (e.g. - darned if I know, this one's tough.. )" Anyone who knows me, knows that I can NOT resist a challenge like that!  So...I did a little bit of research on this type of meter, and found that it is pretty much in the same catagory as 'spondee', which is LONG/LONG, rather than short/short. This is what I found... ___________________ "A pyrrhic is a foot composed of two short syllables. A spondee is a foot composed of two long syllables. Spondee and pyrrhic are called feet, even though they contain only one kind of stressed syllable. They are never used as the sole meter of a poem. If they were, it would be like the steady impact of nails being hammered into a board--no pleasure to hear or dance to. But inserted now and then, they can lend emphasis and variety to a meter, as Yeats well knew when he broke up the predominantly iambic rhythm of “Who Goes With Fergus?” with the line, ^ ^ / / ^ ^ / / And the white breast of the dim sea," ____________________ Though this says that pyrrhic and spondee are not to be used as the sole meter of a poem...I did it anyway..lol...just for the purpose of the challenge and of familiarizing myself with the 'feel' of the meter. And...this is what I came up with. I guess you'd call it spondaic/pyrrhic hexameter, since it uses both spondee and pyrrhic feet, each of which are a foot unto themselves, therefore making a total of 6 feet per line. If I'm incorrect in this assessment, please feel free to correct me.  Just for a little added clarification, my first stanza, for example, would read like this... "In the SILENCE of the MEADOW in the MORNING With the ONLY sound the WAKING of the WILDLIFE May you LISTEN to the SPIRITS in their GUIDING On your JOURNEY through the TWISTING paths of YOUR LIFE" So...here we go... This My Prayer In the silence of the meadow in the morning With the only sound the waking of the wildlife May you listen to His spirit in its guiding On your journey through the twisting paths of your life May He bless you with the strength of inner healing That your soul will feel the comfort of His presence May you know that in that moment of revealing You will surely see the beauty of His essence May He constant be your trusted true companion May He lead you on your quest for all you're seeking When your path may lead you through a lonely canyon May you hear His voice in comfort softly speaking May your heart be filled with knowing that He loves you May you feel His quiet presence in mentation In your travels, may He always safely keep you In His refuge free of worldy trepidation This, my prayer for you, today and in the morrow May your heart be filled with peace and free from sorrow ~vlraynes "My friends are my estate." ~Emily Dickinson |
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| © Copyright 2003 Vicky L. Raynes - All Rights Reserved | |||
Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Vicky~ Oh sure ... like I'm now supposed to believe what a stress-filled few days you've had ???  Well ... NO WONDER !!!! I am NOT buying ANY MORE Excedrin ... so thank you for doing what I have NO INTENTION of self-inficting !!! It reads a message that I think is mine ... and so it's printed, hung and reflected upon~ BEAUTIMOUS ...~ *Huglets* ~*Me ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
A classic if ever there was one. I am envious, and proud...of knowing one with a talent such as yours! |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
Come on Marge, we're outta here when Vic shows us the ropes of stress. Vicky dear, it's really amazing and it has such a beautiful flow.  TitiaLike scattered leaves...my words will flow |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I have a headache now... Got any Extra-strength Motrin???... You KNOW this is absurdly awesome...  |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Marge, Lady, & Titia~ Big thanks to each of you for sharing my headache. LOL I'm really glad you enjoyed this one. Nan/Ms. Nanners/Teach...'absurdly awesome'? LOL You just made my day...thankee, friend. Hugs to all.  "My friends are my estate." ~Emily Dickinson [This message has been edited by vlraynes (07-28-2003 03:27 PM).] |
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Bridget Shenachie Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056Kansas USA |
Wow! How do you get such a handle on all the right stress!?! You are a great example to those of us who are trying to get a grasp on meter... Shenachie |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Viraynes, This is fantastic, without a doubt. It reads as if it were a mantra, (which it may be). I think both thanks, and congratulations are in order. Doc |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Well, miss Vicky, if this were a critique of a poem, I would say you have written a beautiful poem here. Your accents are perfect, the flow of the poem without flaws and it is overall a masterful write! Since it is a workshop, however, I have to point out some other things. Your choice of pyrrhics are flawed. There are none in this poem. You have basically written in anapestic form with an additional unaccented syllable following. Silence, meadow, morning, twisted, etc, are not pyrrhic. They are trochaic. One does not say MORN-ING. One say Morn-ing, as well as MEAD-ow, SI-lence, TWIST-ed, etc. There are very very few pyrrhic words. There has to be a full accent on each syllable to qualify. RACECAR comes to mind as one, NORTHWARD another...there are not many. Most of the time pyrrhic is comprised of two short syllable words, such as in the example you gave...white breast - dim sea. None of the words you use here are pyrrhic. Your poem can actually be read two ways - one being trochaic and one being anapestic with the additional syllable, which is permissible. IN the SI-lence OF the MORN-ing IN the MEAD-ow.....trochaic in the SI-lence of the MORN-ing in the MEAD-ow.....anapestic. ...and, either way it is read, it's a beautiful poem  |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Now...see, 'Deer?...this is EXACTLY why I was hoping you'd show up and give me some input on this one. This is also why I said, 'I think', in my title...LOL. I'm still learning the more complicated and not so commonly used meters, and I do appreciate the crash course from the master. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to find much of an explanation of pyrrhic, other than the example that I included, and not having any books to refer to, I was more or less 'guessing', and hoping that I was close. I do appreciate you setting me straight as to what it REALLY is that I have written...LOL. Now I know who to go to the next time I'm experimenting with a new meter. I truly do appreciate and respect your input. Thank you, 'Deer...just seeing you here has made me smile... [This message has been edited by vlraynes (08-05-2003 04:21 AM).] |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Glad I could help out, Vicky. This was easy for me...I was born with two long feet!!  You're great....  |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Viraynes, My original comments stand, however, I must admit to not having the full understanding of the subject, as I have now learned. Doc |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Doc...I'm so sorry for not acknowledging your original comments. I promise it was not intentional. That's what I get for trying to reply when I'm tired. I very much appreciate and respect your input as well. Your kind and positive comments put a smile on my face. Thank you! Bridgette...my apologies to you as well. I didn't intend to overlook your comments. Thank you so much for reading, and I'm very happy to know that you enjoyed this. [This message has been edited by vlraynes (08-05-2003 10:14 PM).] |
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